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Before you say "I do," these are basic ingredients needed to have a happy, successful marriage. These are not the only five needs that men and women have, and they are not in any particular order, but they will be helpful to you. There are other great resources on these that go into more detail, but here are some basics.

What Men Need
  • Honor
    A man needs to know that his wife honors and respects him. Ephesians 5:33 in The Amplified Bible says it like this,
    Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband (that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly).
    First Peter 3:2 AMP tells wives:
    (...you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband.)
  • Sex
    It's true that men usually have a stronger desire than women do in this area. But a smart woman understands that a healthy sexual relationship means a lot to her husband, and this is an important key to his happiness.

    I'll say it again: These are things that you must discuss before you get married.

  • Loyalty and honesty
    A man needs to know that he can trust his wife and that her heart is toward him alone. A real man of God desires a Proverbs 31 kind of woman: a woman of character and dignity. He is looking for someone who would be faithful to him as well as being a good mother to their children.

  • Domestic Support
    While this is important to both men and women, a man greatly appreciates as peaceful a home environment as possible. It is built into his nature to go out and work hard, then come home to a loving, supportive wife.

    In today's world many women have to work, too, so this doesn't necessarily mean that every man is expecting a hot meal on the table and slippers waiting by his chair as his wife jumps to meet his every need.

    But it does mean that he wants to know his wife is supporting him and that they are working together to have a loving, nurturing home life.

  • Recreation
    While men like to do certain "guy" activities on their own or with other male friends, it's very important to them to have at least one or two "playtime" activities that their spouse enjoys doing with them. It means a lot to a man when his wife cares about what he cares about.

    I heard one woman who wasn't very athletic growing up say that she decided to take up golf just so she would have something in common with her husband. She knew it was important to him. Now they spend time golfing together, and they are closer than ever.

    Some pastors whom I am very close with were sharing with me how important this issue is to a man. One of them told me that his wife even went so far as to take up hunting and has gone on several hunting trips with her husband. That's a smart woman!
What Women Need
  • Love and Affection
    A woman needs to feel loved and cherished by her husband. She is happiest when she hears and sees his affection for her. Sometimes men feel that saying, "I love you" once is enough and that she should just know it from then on.

    But women need more than that because they are very emotional beings. They have a need for tender, genuine affection on a regular basis. That's why women like flowers, mushy cards, and they melt when a man whispers sweet nothings in their ear.

  • Communication/Conversation
    It's a pretty well known fact that women talk more than men. I've heard experts say that women have twice as many words to get out in a day than men do! I've also heard it said that the way women get rid of their problems is to talk them out.

    A woman needs to talk about things and have someone she loves listen to her and understand what she is going through. She needs to know they care. A common complaint of unhappy wives is, "We just don't talk to each other" or "He never listens to me."

    Have you ever noticed that women like details, whereas most men just give you the highlights? A wise husband knows that investing time in talking and listening to his wife will meet her needs and make their marriage happier.

  • Security
    Women have a great need for stability and security, especially in the financial realm. They need to know that they will be taken care of financially. Women have a need to feel protected and safe.

    It's a big deal to them, and it might make men wonder how much they have to make before a woman will marry them. It's not so much the amount as it is knowing that their husband is willing to work and take care of things. That makes a woman feel safe and secure.

  • Trust
    Much the same as a man, a woman needs to know she can trust her husband. She needs to trust his ability to hear from God and be faithful to His Word. Where there is no trust there is no respect. A woman needs to know by the actions of a man that he is trustworthy. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship.

  • Family Commitment
    It is important to a woman for her husband to be "family minded." She needs to know that he will be committed to her and their children. She needs reassurance that she will come before his friends and that she and their children will come first. To be committed to family and each other is really being committed to God and His Word.

    It means a lot to know a husband is committed to work together to attain their goals and build a family life and the right foundation.
In Conclusion
Remember, God has a great plan for your life no matter where you have been or what you are going through now. As you delight yourself in Him, He is bringing you the desires of your heart!

I want to pray for you now: As I pray for you, dear friend, I believe that even though you are single, you are never alone because God is with you. He has a great plan for your life,
and your steps are ordered by Him.
Father, give my friend comfort and the peace that passes all understanding. Strengthen and encourage them in their walk with You.

I believe that God is filling any void on the inside of you. I pray for supernatural divine relationships and Holy Ghost connections to come your way and that even now, God is preparing you for what He has in store for you.

If you desire to be married, I believe God is bringing your future mate across your path. I declare that you will marry the right person! God is big enough to give you the desires of your heart.

Father, thank you for giving my precious friend everything they need to be an uncommon single and soar with You, to be all they were created to be. Amen!
Source: Single and Loving It! by Kate McVeigh
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers

Author Biography

Kate McVeigh
Web site: Kate McVeigh Ministries
 
With a heart to help people discover who they are in Christ, Kate McVeigh is one of the most sought after female speakers in America today. Combining her personal experiences with down-to-earth teaching of the Word, she shows people how to become all that God has called them to be.
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