I want to talk to you as the leader in your home. You have the responsibility of leading your household and making things work like they should. Being a man of responsibility means to respond and to be able to plot some directions in order to get where you believe God wants your family to be.

My objective in this message is to share with you from a biblical perspective the subject of sex in the Christian marriage. First, I want you to see the heart of God and to hear what God has to say about you making love to your wife. Then I want you to view it from man's perspective.

I'm sure that, before you became born again, you heard sex being presented in street language. You probably heard it while hanging around with the boys in the locker room, or you may have just learned some of these things through discovery.

Making love to your wife is not just the act of sex, or sexual intercourse, though that is a part of it. The act of intercourse is one event in the process of making love to your wife.

First, as Seen in Proverbs
Let's start in the book of Proverbs, chapter 5, verses 15-19:

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.
Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

Now if you will study the Hebrew text, you will find that the word fountain in verse 18 means "body parts which produce life."

Again, in verse 15 it says, "Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well." The point of this is, if you don't own it, if it isn't yours, then you have no business drinking water from it.

Verse 18 says, "Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth." The word rejoice here means to ecstatically delight. This verse is saying "Ecstatically delight with the wife of thy youth."

Verse 19 is talking about how her love should satisfy him. Notice it says, "... let her breasts satisfy thee at all times."

Whether you are newly married, are looking forward to being married, or have been married for quite some time, you need to understand what the Bible is saying here. It absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, makes clear that we as husbands should look forward to a pleasurable, enjoyable and ecstatically delightful experience in making love with our wives.

Some denominations present the picture of a husband and wife never having anything to do with sex until it's time for them to have a baby. But that is wrong. In this Scripture passage, God is simply trying to make a point by saying you should make sure that the waters are your own.

Now Let's See It From Paul's Perspective
In 1 Corinthians, chapter 7, the apostle Paul says in verse 1:

"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman."

Notice the word touch in this verse. This is obviously not referring to just the general rule of touching, when we go up to somebody and hug or pat that person. Also, Paul is not discussing in this verse the subject of marriage or the wife. When he says a man should not touch a woman, he is talking about touch as the act of intercourse, or intermingling, with a woman. He goes on in verse 2:

"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife ..."

He is saying that it isn't good for a man to have sex with any woman other than his wife. He calls that fornication, which he says we are to avoid. He is declaring that in order for a man to avoid fornication - to avoid having sex with a woman who isn't legally his, to avoid getting involved with waters that don't belong to him - then every man should have his own wife. He continues in verse 2:

"... and let every woman have her own husband."

Paul is getting ready to talk about the legal perspective of sexual activity, and he puts it within the confines of marriage, between a husband and his wife. In verse 3 he says:

"Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband."

This word benevolence involves an equality and a respect between husband and wife, especially with regard to having sex. There are times when your wife may not feel like having sex, but she will do it anyway. So, you as the husband will have to render equal respect to your wife and be willing to have sex when she desires it, even when you don't. In other words, don't expect her to do anything that you aren't willing to do yourself.

The Bible goes on in verse 4 to say:

"The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband ..."

Now this doesn't mean you are lord over her body, that you go to her as if wearing a crown on your head and say, "Whether you feel like it or not, you have to make love with me—I'm your husband; you have to submit to me!" Get that kind of talk out of your vocabulary right now.

This Scripture verse says that the wife doesn't have power over her own body, but the husband. Then it says:

"... and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife."

Because of marriage, his body is no longer just under his own consideration. Someone else has been given a right to his body, and that's his wife. Someone else has been given a right to her body, and that's her husband.

Now remember the objective here. Paul wants to set up an understanding of marriage, so that you will begin to recognize that God is trying to form a oneness between the husband and the wife. He is trying His best to get the man and woman together.


Creflo Dollar Ministries