It is the X-Factor - the one variable that will make or break our efforts. Without good communication, our efforts in conflict resolution, in our finances, or in the bedroom, will prove to be an upward battle.
According to Dr. Les & Dr. Leslie Parrott, there are three things that make a solid bedrock for effective communication.
(1) Warmth. This is not soft fuzzies - it is acceptance. Allow your spouse to be who they are openly without fear of judgment.
(2) Genuineness. Our spouses can spot phoniness from a mile away! Avoid fabricated feeling and insincere intentions.
(3) Empathy. Listen to your spouse. Try to understand what they are feeling and why they are feeling that way. This is an antidote for the "quick fix."
Once the bedrock is present, try these three things.
(1) Have a listening attitude. Listening skills are great, but without a sincere interest in your spouse they won't accomplish anything. Remember, you can listen with more than your ears.
(2) Realize the power of words. You can either build up or destroy your spouse with your words - they are powerful! (Read James 3). Also, saying everything you think is not honesty - it's stupidity. We all think things that have no value being shared.
(3) Have fun communicating. Share your dreams, memories...everything! The more fun you have communicating the more you'll do it.
The Gutierrez family has served together in Peru since 2011. Danny and Stephanie serve on the pastoral staff and executive team of Camino de Vida, a growing church with 5 campuses located in the capital city of Lima.
