One of the things I’m learning about grace is that it is not a lack of love in marriage relationships that cause conflict, but a lack of grace. Many marriages fail because of people’s inability to deal with crisis situations and inevitable changes that occur in life. When circumstances change, there’s a need for grace to be infused into situations, but it doesn’t always happen that way. Instead, “graceless” marriages end in divorce, disappointment, and despair.  

I witnessed this in the disintegration of my parents’ marriage. My father had a rich uncle from whom he inherited a lot of money when my parents were married. I remember my mother saying she felt as if the money changed their relationship. And unfortunately, after 49 years of marriage, my parents divorced. Shortly after that, my mother went home to be with the Lord. But I think if she had learned more about grace, it would have made all the difference in the world.

Sometimes, something like an illness can adversely impact a marriage relationship. If one spouse isn’t sensitive to the needs of the other one, and fails to rely on the Holy Spirit for wisdom on how to respond in that kind of situation, it can damage or sever the marriage relationship. Life is filled with frustrations and challenges. But it’s how we deal with them that determines if we will stay together and maintain the marriage. We have to be willing to extend grace to each other so we can adjust to life’s challenges.

I'm so thankful to God that we were able to make it through the different changes that occurred in our lives over the years. If you will stay with God, and stay in faith, He is able to bring you out. I remember Gloria Copeland saying, “Taffi, it just gets better and better!” She was talking about marriage and she was right.

Now, let me say this: grace is not blind. And a grace-based marriage doesn’t mean we ignore or excuse bad behavior, or that we refuse to deal with issues head-on that are clearly out of line. There are times when we have to confront certain situations as straightforwardly as Jesus did. But God will give you words that are seasoned with grace during those times (Col. 4:6).

Grace is a game-changer. Grace has the ability to deal with the ups and downs in marriage. Your part is to stay full of the Word so you will know how to tap into and awaken God’s grace in your life. It may seem that all is lost in your marriage today, but take heart. Run boldly to God and confidently throw yourself on His throne of grace! (Hebrews 4:16). God is ready to give you the answers you need concerning your marriage relationship. What’s so amazing about grace? Everything!

World Changers Ministries
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