The Power of Words
The healthy or unhealthy atmosphere of our home is created by words. Some of the greatest joys in life are things people have said to us. Some of the worst things in life are things people have said to us. Some of the deepest regrets we have in life are things we have said to others.
But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. (Matt. 12:36-37 KJV)Words Reveal the Heart
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. "Eat and drink!" he says to you, but his heart is not with you. (Prov. 23:7 NKJ)Speak Slow, Speak Soft.
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Prov. 4:23 KJV)
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. (James 1:19 KJV)Avoid Offensive Words
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Prov. 15:1 KJV)
He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, shall be counted a curse to him. (Prov. 27:14 KJV)
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.Conversation Skills
(Prov. 10:19 NIV)
The heart of the righteous studieth to answer, but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things. (Prov. 15:28 KJV)
It is an honour for a man to cease from strife, but every fool will be meddling.
(Prov. 20:3 KJV)
A fool gives full vent to their rage, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
(Prov. 29:11 NIV)
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
(Eph. 4:29 KJV)
Keep your relationship free from offenses and un-forgiveness.
Give your spouse a safe place to come.
Developing Conversation Skills:
- When you don't know how to begin look for common ground.
- Don’t try to do all the talking.
- Keep the conversation alive by asking questions.
- If you don’t want to arouse resentment, ask the right kinds of questions. (Avoid rhetorical questions and sarcasm.)
Developing Listening Skills:
- Good listeners do not interrupt the speaker.
- Good listeners do not daydream while others are speaking.
- Good listeners keep their eye on the speaker.
- Good listeners respond to the feelings of the speaker and show it on their face.
“The Conversation Wheel” – ask, listen, comment.
Follow spiritual principles that apply to all conversation:
...a fool's voice is known by multitude of words. (Eccl. 5:3 KJV)
Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. (Phil. 2:4 KJV)
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips. (Prov. 27:2 NIV)
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3:8-9 NIV)
Visions, Goals, Plans.
Commit your works to the Lord (Praying)
He will establish your hearts (Thinking)
Man makes his plans (Planning)
The Lord orders his steps (Steps)
Subjects To Discuss:
Vocations, Money, Children, Roles, In-Laws, Sex, Leisure, Friends, Hobbies, Spiritual Life, Home and Education.
How To Manage Conflict:
1) Pick the right time of the day.
2) Stick to the subject.
3) Listen carefully and watch the body language.
4) Try to reach a conclusion.
5) Forgive quickly.
6) Don’t bring up past mistakes.
7) Don’t correct in public.
8) Don’t talk of former spouses, boyfriends, or girlfriends.
9) Never tell jokes about your spouse without their prior permission.
10) Affirm or compliment your spouse in public every chance you get.
It's important to take time with your spouse just talking and planning things for your future.
- Annual vision retreat
- Quarterly get together
- Weekly consultations
- Daily catch-ups
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