Once you have made the decision and prayed the prayer to forgive someone; the battle isn’t over yet. You will not necessarily feel an overwhelming love for the person you forgave right away.
Remember, forgiving him or her is not based on your feelings, but on a decision. You may have a tendency to think, “I don’t feel any differently about the person or about my pain, so I guess I didn’t really forgive him (her).” Wrong!
If you made the decision, then you have forgiven. The devil will try to trick you into feeling condemned and confused about it. It is important to remember the date and time you prayed forgiveness, so you can remind the devil and remind yourself what you chose to do.
Fight the tendency to take up an offense and get mad again. Every time you have a thought about what happened, pull out those forgiveness Scripture cards and start quoting them.
The battle is your mind. If you pull out your Scriptures every single time you are tempted to get angry again, there is NO question you will beat this thing. No one else can do it for you. Others can encourage you, but you must fight the battle.
As you continue to do this, you will begin to feel less and less pain. You’ll find a growing love in your heart for the person who hurt you. You will discover the clouds are gone and you really feel free!
One last note: If you have been involved in sexual abuse, you should confide in your pastor or a qualified Christian counselor. It is imperative that you have someone help you work through these forgiveness issues especially before you get married. It will keep you from many years of grief and marital struggles if you will take the time to do this now.
It may take weeks or months before you feel any different about the person who hurt you. Don’t be discouraged. God’s Word has the power to heal your broken heart. It never fails!
You just have to be committed to fighting your thoughts with His Word no matter how long it takes, because you know it’s the right thing to do.
As you persist in your decision to forgive and in quoting God’s Word, you will find the most incredible miracle happening in your heart. You will sense a freedom like you have never known before.
The weight on your shoulders will fall off. The dark cloud that surrounds you will leave. God will perform a surgery that no surgeon can. He alone has the awesome power to heal a broken heart.
Your healing can begin today; it all starts with your decision to forgive.
Excerpt permission granted by Teen Mania Ministries
Ron Luce was the co-founder and president of Teen Mania Ministries from 1986-2015. Ron and his wife Katie dreamed to raise young people who would change the world.
Ron received his bachelor's degree in Psychology and Theology from Oral Roberts University and his master's in Counseling Psychology from the University of Tulsa, along with an honorary doctorate from Jerry Falwell of Liberty University. He is a sought-after speaker who has traveled to more than 60 countries and has made numerous media appearances, such as Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family radio broadcast, CNN, The O'Reilly Factor, ABC Nightline, The 700 Club, Trinity Broadcasting Network, and the Sean Hannity Show. Ron has also written 35 books for teens, youth pastors, and parents and continues to speak at leaders' conferences helping parents and pastors understand the plight of today's youth and showing them how all of us can be part of the solution.
Ron and Katie currently live in Garden Valley, Texas, with their son Cameron. They have two daughters, Hannah and Charity.
