I believe there's a great need today among wives of ministers for practical information. I want to share some practical information with you in this article, and I especially want to concentrate on the area of pastoral ministry.

Did you know that you are privileged to be called to the ministry? I know there are times when you really wonder if it is a privilege, but I want to assure you that it is!

I'm certain you have already experienced some of the pressures that come with the ministry. Pressures will always be a part of your ministry, but you can learn how to handle them if you acquaint yourself with some of the practical aspects of the ministry and prepare well in advance.

I'm not going to tell you that it's easy, because the ministry is not an easy task. It's an awesome responsibility, but I can't think of any other calling that is more rewarding!

There will be times when you'll be tempted to become discouraged. When those times come, I suggest that you meditate on Romans 11:29: "For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance."

This verse has meant a great deal to me through the years and has brought me through some difficult times. The Amplified Bible says: "For God's gift and His call are irrevocable - He never withdraws them when once they are given, and He does not change His mind about those to whom He gives His grace or to whom He sends His call."

So know that you can't quit in times of discouragement, because God never changes His mind about those whom He has called. Your husband is called, and you are called.

Remember that behind every successful husband and behind every successful minister, there is a good wife. As a good wife, there will be times when you'll have to remind your husband of his call. There will be times when you will be your husband's only support.

For example, if he doesn't do as well as you know he can in delivering a sermon, don't tell him. He already knows it! What he needs at that moment is your support. You'll need to encourage him. Build confidence into him! Learn now how to deal with the negative in a positive way, because that's what counts.

The ministry is the most rewarding profession in the world, and I would not trade it for any other. But you must realize that there are times when you'll have to rise to new challenges and encourage yourself in the Lord.

For instance, people may say things that hurt you. There may be times when you are criticized, and you'll realize that not everyone likes you. Or people may be jealous of you - and let you know it! Also, you'll probably make some mistakes in the ministry.

But it's so important that you and your husband don't both become discouraged at the same time. If you're both down, who will lift you up? It will be during the difficult times that you and your husband will have to learn to encourage each other.

It's your duty and responsibility to always be your husband's biggest fan, friend, and supporter. You may be the one who either keeps him in the ministry or causes him to leave the ministry. Your attitude is so important! There are many men who are not in the ministry today because they had a wife who didn't encourage them when they needed it and who didn't remind them of their calling and responsibility to God.

It requires all the attributes of a godly woman to be a minister's wife. And whether you like it or not, as a minister's wife you do live in a glass house. Sometimes it's not fun, but you just learn to make the best of every circumstance.

You won't be able to wallow in self-pity because you are criticized. Just turn unjust criticism to your advantage by realizing that if you weren't doing something good, the enemy wouldn't try to defeat you with the criticism of others. That's an example of how you can make every circumstance a positive situation.

As a minister's wife, you'll also have to be careful how you dress. Always dress modestly. You can be fashionable yet modest. I normally dress conservatively because I don't want what I'm wearing to detract from what I'm saying.

Learn to wear clothes that accentuate your best qualities. You can be in style without trying to look like a teenager. Look your age. There is nothing so attractive as a woman who is growing older gracefully. So dress modestly, but do take pride in how you look. As the pastor's wife, you are the example that other women will follow.

This brings up another point: As the pastor's wife, it is important that you become involved in the activities of the church. This doesn't mean that you have to do everything yourself. Obviously, you don't have time to do everything yourself.

But remember, you're the "first lady" of that church. The other women of the church should follow your example. If you aren't the example they need, they'll end up looking to other women in the church to be their role models. But if your husband is the pastor, you're the example they need to follow.

Not only should you be involved in the church activities, but in the women's functions, you should be a leader. You may think you are not a leader. But who says you're not? The Word of God certainly doesn't! The Word says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Phil. 4:13). You can do anything in Christ that you set your mind to accomplish!

As a pastor's wife, you are a leader. You just don't know it yet! If you don't think you have the wisdom to become a leader, all you have to do is ask God. He'll give you the wisdom and knowledge you need to fulfill your responsibilities (James 1:5).

When I look back to the time when my husband and I first entered the ministry, it's amazing to me how much ability and wisdom I thought I didn't have. But when I asked the Lord for the grace and the wisdom to be a good pastor's wife, He gave it to me!

The question always arises, "What if I have little children? How can I get involved?" That is a valid question, because as a wife and mother, your first responsibility is to your husband, and your second responsibility is to your children. Your third responsibility is to the ministry God has given you as your husband's helpmeet in the ministry.

Yes, you will have to be diligent to accomplish your role as wife, mother, and  co-laborer in the ministry. Therefore, you must learn how to plan your days!

It's amazing how much you can accomplish in a day if you organize your time. One of the best organizational methods I have found is to write everything down that I want to accomplish in a given day. I usually do this the night before.

I cannot stress enough how important it is that you and your husband are in the ministry together! If your husband is called - then you are called, because you and your husband are one. If you don't sense that calling to the ministry, talk to the Lord about it, and He will make it real to you. But you need to have that call established in your heart to carry you through times of pressure.

Personally, I didn't have any trouble understanding my call as a pastor's wife because I grew up in a pastor's home. I was secure in that role. But when my husband's ministry changed from the pastoral to the evangelistic ministry in the 1970s, I was not secure in that role.

I knew it was important that I felt called to the evangelistic ministry too. If I didn't sense God's call on my life to be an evangelist's wife, I knew I could easily discourage my husband.

So I earnestly sought God. I prayed, "God, I know You are not a respecter of persons. If You told my husband about a change in direction, You can tell me too. I just ask You to give me confidence and assurance in this new direction." And God did!

Being in the ministry with your husband does not mean you will take over his duties. In other words, don't try to preach if he's the one who is called to preach. You are to complement each other, not compete with each other!

You don't take over your husband's responsibilities in the ministry, but you do get involved and help him in the ministry. I have seen so many ministries in which the woman did not participate in any of the functions of the ministry. Do you know what happens in those situations? That couple grows apart!

If the wife doesn't become involved, there is a part of her that is unfulfilled. Her husband gets all the attention, and she is left out. This can cause real discord in the marriage. There is no common ground for a marriage like this, and they end up with nothing to talk about.

When the children are young, a husband and wife can talk about their children. But eventually a day will come when the children are gone, and she'll find herself married to a "stranger."

When a man is in the ministry, that is his whole life. Often that will be all he wants to talk about. And if his wife doesn't participate in the ministry with him, it leaves room for the devil to come in.

For instance, suppose another woman in the church does assume some type of leadership role. Then the pastor, as the head of that church, has something in common with that woman. Since he has the responsibility of the church, at times he'll need to confer with her.

Do you see how this can give place to the enemy in your marriage? That's why it's so important for you to be the first lady of that church and for you to be the one with whom your husband confers concerning church matters. Then together you can plan projects or implement changes.

So whether you think of yourself as a leader or not, it would behoove you to become one!

The reason I stress this is that I have never seen the devil's strategies running as rampant in marriages as they are in this day! And I'm not just seeing problems in marriages of people who have been in the ministry for two years, five years, or even ten years. The enemy is attacking the marriages of people who have been in the ministry as long as twenty-five years!

Also, let me mention another aspect of the enemy's attack on marriages that you need to be aware of. There is something very attractive about a man of God in the pulpit. After all, he's preaching the Word!

So you will have to be alert and keep an ever-watchful eye open, because certain women will try to gain the attention of your husband! Their own husbands may have neglected them, and they might just be looking for the attention of a man. Whatever the case, you may have to warn your husband at times about other women's intentions because, as a woman, you will probably be more aware in this area than he is.

If you see that a woman is continually approaching your husband, you can handle the situation discreetly. The next time she tries to approach him when you're around, just sweetly put your arm through his, and let her know with a look that you are the queen of your household!

This brings up another important point. Your husband should never counsel a woman alone. The Bible says to shun the very appearance of evil and not to give place to the devil (1 Thess. 5:22; Eph. 4:27).

When as a pastor, your husband is called upon to visit a woman in the hospital, you should always go with him. Also, you should always enter the hospital room first to make sure the woman you're visiting is presentable.

The truth is, there are times in a hospital situation when a woman just does not want a man to see her. For instance, my husband and I once visited a woman in the hospital, and I went alone into her room to talk to her. She had just had surgery and wasn't wearing any makeup. When I asked her if she'd like my husband to come in and pray for her, she said, "Oh, no! I don't want him to see me like this!"

In marriage and in ministry, there is a right and a wrong time for a woman to speak. It is important that you choose the right time to speak or voice your opinion.

Never embarrass your husband in front of others. This is so important. For instance, don't contradict your husband in public. If you work in the church office, your husband is always right! When other people are present, your husband is always right! When the two of you are alone, you can give him your opinion, but never contradict him in public.

As a minister's wife, you will need to know a little bit about everything. You'll be surprised at the things people will expect you to know. People will want to counsel with you on every conceivable subject. Personally, I try to learn as much as possible in every area that I can, because in the ministry I never know when I'm going to need that information.

For instance, sometimes you'll need to assist in weddings. You'll need to know on which side the respective families are to be seated, how to cut the wedding cake, and things of this nature. So get a good education in these matters - you're going to need it!

You should also be knowledgeable about wedding and baby showers, because as the pastor's wife you'll be expected to give many for women in the church. This responsibility may sound trivial, but it is essential to the role of a pastor's wife. You learn to be instant in season, out of season, and in between seasons!

Learn how to entertain and prepare appealing dinners for two or for two hundred. Also, learn how to set a pretty table, not just for company, but for your own family. You set an important example for your children when you treat your family as specially as you do company.

In your marriage, strive to build a relationship with your husband. Be his best friend. Marriage is never easy, just as the ministry is never easy. Both of you will have to build both your marriage and your ministry!

You need to learn how to communicate with each other. In the ministry, there may be times when your friendship with your husband is the only friendship you have.

Source: Pastor's Manual by Kenneth Hagin Jr.
Excerpt permission granted by Faith Library Publications