There are many times that marriage and money bring out the worst in us. Marriage, by itself, is one of the biggest challenges in life. If you have money issues to boot, then you may be in for a good ole throw down.

For God gives wisdom and knowledge and joy to a man who is good in His sight; but to the sinner He gives the work of gathering and collecting, that he may give to him who is good before God (Ecc. 2:26).

There are many times that marriage and money bring out the worst in us. Marriage, by itself, is one of the biggest challenges in life. If you have money issues to boot, then you may be in for a good ole throw down.

It has been said by some of our greatest experts that money is the number one issue that married people fight over. Now you may say that you and your spouse don't fight. Well, okay, then you discuss it so loud that the neighborhood can hear. Why do we fight? Money or the lack of it.

Many people think that the solution to their problem would be answered if they just had more money. But the fact is, just because you get more money does not mean that you will have solved the problem.

There are four main reasons why people do not have any money left over at the end of the month:

  1. Lack of knowledge of God's Word (Hosea 4:6)
  2. Lack of operating in the principle of sowing and reaping (2 Corinthians 9:6-8)
  3. Lack of wisdom on how to manage their money (James 1:5, Proverbs 4:7-8)
  4. Wrong motives (Matthew 6:33)
Now I know this is not all of the reasons why we don't have any money at the end of the month. It could be that we wait until the end of the month to try to save, instead of paying yourself first. Now when I say pay yourself first, I mean right after God. I believe that you must keep God first in your tithe and offerings, then pay yourself.

As you look at the four reasons listed above, you will see that an entire message could be written on each one of them. But for right now, we are talking about marriage and money, and why we fight over the green.

I would say that number three is the most important keys that must be understood by each partner in order to have success. I would like to give you some suggestions, as a couple, to think about so you can add more love to your money matters.

How To Have Peace and Prosperity
  1. Begin to communicate – Nothing will ever get fixed in your marriage without talking. Take time to talk, but don't do it right before you go to bed because you may be up all night. It has been proven that if you discuss complicated issues before going to bed, you will not be able to sleep. So one of the best times to talk is at lunch or in the evening. Go out to a park, take a walk, and discuss how you can cut back and fix the problem.
  2. Be humble – Don't approach your mate as though you know it all, because you don't. Be open to new ideas, and be open to read or seek out counsel from another couple that seems to be on the right track.
  3. Establish equal goals – When getting out of debt or setting a goal such as buying a home, we both must be willing to share the load. If one thinks or believes that they are pulling most of the weight it will cause sparks to fly.
  4. Hollywood doesn't have it all together – A lot of times we compare our lives to those that we see on TV. First of all, most of them are in debt, banking on getting a new contract. Then, their lives are not the right example because all they seem to do is get together, break up, and then do it all over again. Brad Pitt may have the look, but does he truly have the wisdom that it takes to make his marriage and his career work? I will let you answer that one.
  5. Don't throw in the towel – A lot of marriages break up today because of one word...stubbornness. Try to see it from your mate's view, not just your view. Write down their view and think about it for a day or so before you have the meeting of the minds. Most of the time, those that give up on their marriage regret it for the rest of their lives. They may get remarried and everything looks like it is great, but deep down on the inside they live with thoughts like, "Did I really try to make it work?"
Begin today by making a decision to understand your mate's needs. Don't just try to get your point across. Be a good listener. I know that, together, you can strengthen your marriage and make money work for you.

This article is used by permission from Pastor Brian Bohrer's
quarterly newsletter: Wi$domandmoney
available at