Knowledge of the True Counselor
To be truly effective in counseling, a pastor must know and understand the identity of the True Counselor. The Bible clearly establishes the fact that God is the Counselor (Ps. 33:11; Ps. 73:24; Prov. 8:14; Jer. 32:17-19).

Also, in Isaiah 9:6, we read that Jesus was to be called the Counselor (among his other titles in His earthly ministry). And Isaiah 11:2 says that "the Spirit of counsel and might" was to rest upon Him.

As Jesus approached the time of His departure, He spoke of another Comforter or Counselor - the Holy Spirit - who would come and abide with believers. Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would dwell in believers, teach them and remind them of Jesus' words, guide them into all truth, and show them things to come (John 14:16,26; 16:13-19).

The pastor who recognizes these truths will not place primary focus on himself as he counsels others, nor will he cultivate an unhealthy dependence on himself. Instead, he will point people to God and His Word.

Contrary to the way some people think, it is not the pastor's job to solve people's problems. Rather, the pastor's role is to share spiritual truths in a practical way in order to assist people in applying the Word of God to their lives. The pastor's goal should be to help people align their attitudes, thoughts, and conduct with the will and purpose of God, thus enabling them to experience the God-kind of life.

Limitations and Boundaries
As you counsel people, it is vital to understand your limitations and boundaries. There are ways a pastor can become involved in a counselee's life detrimentally rather than beneficially.

For instance, a person receiving counsel can form an unhealthy dependency on the pastor, looking to him as his source of help. In reality, the pastor is only a temporary vessel through which a person can receive help from God, who is the True Source.

It is one thing to offer encouragement and support to a person as he gets back on his feet, but it is another thing entirely when the person continues to depend on the pastor's counsel as a perpetual means of support without ever learning to draw on God's Word for himself.

I once heard someone say, "We should do for others what they cannot do for themselves. But we must not do for others what they will not do for themselves." Although we can and should pray for one another, comfort and encourage one another, and so forth, it is still true that each of us must work out his or her own salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12).

Pastors must avoid the temptation to try to make other people's decisions for them. For instance, a pastor should be careful about the way he answers the question, "Pastor, what do you think I should do?" Instead of passing out quick answers, it is best to put the ball back into the person's court, so to speak.

Tell the person you are counseling, "I don't know. What do you think you should do?" Or "I don't know. What are your options? What are the potential positive and negative ramifications of those options?"

An old adage that is worthy of a pastor's consideration says, "Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime." Therefore, when you counsel people, discuss the Bible with them. Pray with them. But allow people to make their own decisions.

The "Four D. P." Approach
Although there are no ironclad formulas for ministering to people who seek spiritual assistance, I have found the following to be a helpful format in working with people in counseling situations.

It's called the Four "D.P." Approach.

The first thing you do is "Determine the Person's Purpose." What is it that the person hopes to accomplish by speaking with his pastor? What are his objectives? It is vital to establish the answers to these questions at the beginning of your counseling relationship so both you and the person who needs counseling know where the counseling session is headed. Helping the person establish his objectives is also very helpful in keeping a discussion on track.

The second thing you do is "Discover the Problem." What is it that is keeping the person from achieving his objectives? Sometimes the problem is not what the person thinks it is. For example, the counselee may blame another person for his difficulties, when in fact his real problem is a wrong attitude or unforgiveness toward that person.

It is very important for a pastor/counselor to be a good listener. Proverbs 18:13 says, "He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him." And James 1:19 instructs us to be "...swift to hear, slow to speak...."

Learn to restate the counselee's remarks in your own words and to ask him open-ended questions. These are two good ways for you to obtain a thorough understanding of the situation. When counsel is given before the facts are fully known, there is strong likelihood that the counsel will be inaccurate and ultimately detrimental.

The third thing you do is "Define the Principles." What does God's Word say about the person's objectives and challenges? The pastor's and counselee's knowledge of God's Word establishes a framework for working through the entire situation.

Lastly, the fourth thing you do is "Discuss a Plan." What can the person begin to do that will enable him to practically and spiritually implement the principles of God's Word in his life? This is the "how to" stage in which the person is able to explore and discover new ways of acting on God's Word.

Source: Pastoral Manual by Kenneth Hagin, Jr.
Excerpt permission granted by Faith Library Publications