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Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. 
(Prov. 22:6)
To train has to do with discipline.  It means "to teach or tell, to show or demonstrate, to lead someone through the process in which they are being trained."

Training also has to do with making a person do a requested task.  In other words, seeing that it's done.  One part of the training process is to tell someone what they need to do. 

But there's also the showing of "how" to do it, leading them through it, actually going through the process and making them do it.

If you were ever in the military, you weren't told, "I want to tell you a few things and if you want to do them, that's fine.  If you don't, we'll just go with the flow." 

No!  You were told, "This is what you are going to do."  If you didn't do it as directed, you were corrected.  That's training.  Training makes a demand and then enforces it.

A lie has crept into some families in the discipline area:  don't make children do anything they don't want to do.

There may be things that children and young people may not like to do, but just because they don't like to do it doesn't mean we're not supposed to make them do it. 

I'm praying for a strengthening of backbone in moms and dads to make children do what's right, because there has developed a spirit of rebellion which has allowed children to rule and dominate their parents, to make parents bow to what they want.

God is telling us as parents to train our children, and that means not only telling them, showing them, and leading them through what we want them to do, but also making them do it.

Ephesians 6:4 says we're to "...bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."   This means to bring them up in the nurture, training, discipline, and instruction of the Lord.

Proverbs 13:24 says, "he who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."  This verse is saying that not to discipline your children is to hate them, but if you love them, you'll discipline them promptly.

Proverbs 19:18 says, "Chasten you son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction."

I want to clarify that we're talking about disciplining in love, because there's been a spirit that has come into the world's system, even in Christian circles, that has either done away with all discipline or has perverted it into child abuse.

The pendulum has swung to both sides: total abuse, or a total lack of discipline and correction.  There's a balance in discipline for children in which there's no abuse and no lack of correction.

Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him."  This implies that foolishness goes out of a child when he (or she) is disciplined.
Do not withhold discipline from a child; If you punish him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
Proverbs 23:13-14 (NIV)
Your child may say he's going to die.  He may yell, "You're killing me," and all that.  Don't be moved by his screaming. 

Now, I'm not talking about abusing, wounding, destroying, or hurting a child.  But God says that with proper discipline, you'll deliver his soul from hell.

Source: Building Stronger Marriages And Families
by Billy Joe Daugherty.
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers

Author Biography

Billy Joe Daugherty
Web site: Victory Christian Center
Billy Joe Daugherty was founder and pastor of Victory Christian Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He was also the founder of Victory Christian School, Victory Bible Institute and Victory World Missions Training Center.

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