I encourage you to take out a piece of paper and write down all the things that first attracted you to your mate. Was it his/her charming good looks? Or perhaps his/her winning personality? Was it a sense of humor that you loved? Start thinking of every little thing that you were drawn to and felt that you just couldn't live without.

Why am I asking you to do this? Philippians 4:8 says,

For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things - fix your mind on them.
(Phil. 4:8 AMP)

The King James Version says, "...whatever things are of a good report...think on these things."

Sometimes it's easy to forget all those wonderful attributes that first attracted you to your mate, especially when the good times together have become outweighed by the bad times. It's important that you get out your "report card" about your mate and often recall what you love most about him/her.

To have the successful marriage that God wants you to have, you must come to the realization that the words you speak are critical to your marriage. Your mouth can destroy your marriage. On the other hand, what you say can add life to your marriage.

The words that we speak are like the money that we put into the offering plate. Our money is seed. Luke 6:38 says, "Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men give unto your bosom."

By the same token, the words that you release are seeds, and they come back, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over in your life. So, you've got to be very careful with the words that you release out of your mouth. Are they words of death or are they words of life? Are they words that destroy your mate's self image? Or are they words of encouragement? What kind of "word seeds" are you releasing into your marriage?

The words that you speak are going to determine what you believe about your mate and your marriage. If you're constantly saying, "There is nobody like you! You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me," then as you're saying these words, you are reaffirming that belief. You're basing your life upon those words.

But on the other hand, if your words are, "Why did I ever marry you? The day I married you was the worst day of my life," then you are reaffirming that belief in your heart. The reason that love has left your marriage, or is in the process of leaving, is because you are focusing on the wrong things. You're saying it, you're hearing it, and you're believing it.

I want to encourage you today to begin making a report card about your mate. Write down everything you first loved about him/her. Then begin speaking positive words over your marriage. Do not let another negative word come out of your mouth about your marriage. Don't speak contrary to what you're believing based on the Word of God. Don't talk to your friends about how bad your marriage is.

Look at your "report card" and remind yourself that you chose your mate for a reason, God chose him/her for you and your mate is the very desires of your heart. Begin making positive confessions over your marriage, and the next thing you know...you're saying it, you're hearing it, and you're believing it!

Jerry Savelle Ministries International
All rights reserved. Used by permission.