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If there's anything I want to do, it's encourage you to make sure it's God when you're meeting a mate. Sometimes we can get so desperate to be married that we're willing to settle for second best, but don't do it!

Maybe you've met someone, and you like them a lot, but you say, "I don't know; they're good, but they're just not quite...." I like to say this: If they're "not quite," they're not right! God has something better for you if you'll trust Him and wait on His timing.

Don't get me wrong—there aren't any perfect people. You're going to have to walk in love and accept the imperfections of whomever you end up marrying (because they'll have to accept yours!).

Sometimes we know four or five different people and we want to take the best qualities from each one to make the best person for us. That's not going to happen! There are no perfect people in the world.

But don't settle for something that you're not absolutely sure of. Don't say to yourself, "Well, they'll do." If all you can say is they'll do, then they're not for you! If you can do without, then throw it out. If you say "maybe," then it shouldn't be.

Don't Be Sidetracked From Your Vision
It's important that you find someone who believes in your dream, and you believe in his or hers. Don't get into a relationship with someone who can't flow with the vision that God has placed in your heart.

If God put a plan and a vision inside you, then He's well able to bring the right person along to hook up with it. And you can hook up with theirs.

One time a friend and I made an agreement with each other. We promised to be honest if we saw that one of us was about to make a mistake and marry the wrong person.

This friend of mine had graduated from Bible school and knew that God had called him to be a pastor. He needed a helpmeet, someone who felt just as called in ministry as he did. He knew in his heart that he needed to marry someone who could help him fulfill his vision.

He was getting a little anxious and so got involved with a girl who had been married several times before and had lots of children. Besides that, she didn't feel called to the ministry.

Everyone around him could see that he was making a big mistake—everyone except him that is. You've heard the saying, "Love is blind." Well, sometimes it can be! That's why you need to listen to people who care about you.

I remember having a serious talk with him, reminding him of what was in his heart for ministry, and the pact we had made to each other to be honest. The Lord began to deal with him about it. He realized he was about to make a big mistake, so the next day he called the whole thing off.

Do you know what happened? Exactly three months later, God brought the woman of his dreams along, and they eventually married. She is beautiful, loves God, and is totally dedicated to the ministry. Now they pastor a very successful church.

I believe many times the devil will send a counterfeit right before the real one comes along. I am so glad he listened to God, as they have a beautiful marriage.

This is a great example of how sometimes you've got to "give up to go up." My friend had to give up average to get extraordinary.

Many times the reason people date average, or settle for someone they're not really interested in, is because they're lonely.

Surround Yourself With Wise Counsel
I encourage you to be aware of the godly counsel God has placed in your life, such as your parents, pastor, close friends, and other committed Christians who care about you. The book of Proverbs has much to say about receiving advice from godly men and women.
  • ...a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels (Prov. 1:5).

  • Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety (Prov. 11:14).

  • The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hear-keneth unto counsel is wise (Prov. 12:15).
I like the one that says, " the multitude of counselors there is safety." Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees.

When you are too emotionally involved with someone, it become easy for you to overlook the obvious. It can be very obvious to others that this person may not be for you.

If all the people close to you think you are missing it with the current person you're dating, you should think twice about it and listen to their advice. Ask yourself this question: Could they be right? What is their motive for telling me? Is it because they care about me?

They are most likely just trying to help you make sure you don't end up in a bad situation. And sometime they can see things more clearly from outside the relationship, because their judgment isn't clouded by emotions. It pays to listen.

Source: Single and Loving It! by Kate McVeigh
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers

Author Biography

Kate McVeigh
Web site: Kate McVeigh Ministries
With a heart to help people discover who they are in Christ, Kate McVeigh is one of the most sought after female speakers in America today. Combining her personal experiences with down-to-earth teaching of the Word, she shows people how to become all that God has called them to be.

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