Your teen is dressing strangely, dancing in weird ways, hitting their head against the wall or bobbing it up and down, jumping up and down, making strange noises, or going to all sorts of concerts.
Next, you hear about the moshing that goes on there. Your teen is wanting to go see bands with weird names you have never heard of before, but who claim to be Christian groups. What is a parent to do? First of all, what not to do is sit by blindly thinking, "Well, at least they are Christian groups."
Don't let your young person listen to whatever they want to listen to or go wherever they want to go. It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure that even though a band or an activity has a Christian label on it, you are doing all you can to be the chief guiding force in your young person's life.
You're In Charge
You cannot let peers, music, news, or teachers be their primary guiding force. God has put you there to train them, not the music industry nor the educational system.
What can you do to help guide them through this? Ask your young person to let you see the lyrics to some songs. Sit down together and look over them. If there are lyrics you do not understand, ask your young person what they mean.
Compare them to scriptures to see if they really line up with the Word of God. Read magazine articles about the bands. Find interviews with them and read them with your young person. See what the band members are like. How long have they been Christians? Where do they go to church? Do they have a regular pastor? Are they accountable to anyone?
In regards to music and your teen, does the word obsessed come to mind? The word obsessed is a big word. It means your teen has to listen to it all the time—sunup to sundown. They can't stand to be without it.
It's amazing the strong pull that music has on our society. If your young person is so compelled that they cannot stay away, then there is something wrong. If they need to constantly have their headphones on with the CD player going, that is evidence that something is not right.
It's one thing to like that kind of music, but it is another thing to be so sucked into it that it is all they can think about, and all they ever want to do.
The fallacy is to think, "Well, when they are not with us, we don't have any control over them anyway. We might as well let them listen to it as much as they want. It's Christian—it won't harm them."
That is not necessarily so. Just because it is Christian music does not mean that it is healthy for a young mind to be bombarded with fast-paced, crazy guitars screaming through their headphones all day long.
It breeds confusion in their heart and mind. Keep in mind that if you tell your young person this, they won't believe it, understand it, or agree with it.
You Do Have Influence
The second fallacy is that you do not have any influence. Yes you do! You are the parent. You are the one who is there to say what is wise and what is not—what is permissible and what is not.
You can limit how much time your teen spends listening to a CD player or Walkman by telling them you don't think it is wise for them to listen to that style of music all day long. Suggest that they listen to some praise and worship or teaching tapes.
Maybe they need some quiet time without constant noise broadcast into their brain all day. You do have influence. You are there to set guidelines and parameters so your teen will be raised in a wholesome environment. Do your job.
Excerpt permission granted by Albury Publishing
Ron Luce was the co-founder and president of Teen Mania Ministries from 1986-2015. Ron and his wife Katie dreamed to raise young people who would change the world. 
