Since 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers," we are assuming that these two people are properly married; hopefully, that a born-again man is married to a born-again woman. Their two spirits can then come together. That takes care of the spiritual side of marriage.
The physical part of marriage is dealt with when their two bodies come together in the honeymoon experience.
But the real challenge comes with the part of man, which is the soul. The soul involves the mind, the will, and the emotions. This is where reasoning and logic reside. About two to three weeks into marriage, the husband and wife will find that they have a real challenge to get their two souls hooked together.
This is when they realize that they have different opinions. The husband was raised with one opinion, the wife with another, and they may completely oppose each other. So as they begin to establish their relationship, they become insensitive toward one another, and there will be some clashes.
Now I don't care how "in love" you are in the beginning; the two of you will have these clashes. You might as well just forget about living in Wonderland. In fact, I would dare to say that, after two weeks of marriage, if you haven't already had some type of argument, something is wrong.
When that first argument takes place, your feelings get hurt. After about two or three weeks of marriage, you look at her and say to yourself, "I must have married the wrong woman!" I mean, all of those nice romantic times you were having are spoiled. It had been as if you were living in another world, but then your souls began to clash.
She says something you don't agree with, and it's like a threat to your manhood, especially when she says she isn't going to do what you want. You say, "But I'm the man of this house!" You quickly defend your position and your throne, because you see it being threatened by a rebellious act from that woman. So you pout for a while, saying, "You don't really love me. If you did, you wouldn't talk to me that way."
All of a sudden, life isn't going the way the textbook said it would. The two of you sulk around the house, maybe two or three days, without speaking to one another. Then if you go out in public together, you have to put on a face and look like you both are still so happy.
Don't worry; it's normal for that to happen. And life will still go on. Your marriage will survive as long as, when you got married, you had established the Word of God as your final authority. That's the difference between our marriage as Christians and the marriage of people living the world's way.
So the challenge in marriage is the soul - the mind, the intellect, and emotions. Now the soul and the body bounce off one another, so you have to figure out how to get those two parts together. God had all of this in mind when He developed sex for the Christian marriage. Maybe you have never thought about this before, but the Holy Spirit should be a big part of the sexual relationship you have with your wife.
Is the Sexual Union Ever To Be Avoided?
Continuing in 1 Corinthians 7, verse 5, it says:
"Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."
Basically, this is saying, if there is a time in your Christian walk when you don't feel that you should be involved in sexual intercourse, you must remember that your body is not yours; it isn't for you to make that decision by yourself. You have to talk to your wife about it. She will probably want to know why. You will have to explain it to her so that the two of you can be in agreement. It is never just you making your own decision regarding your body; your body doesn't belong just to you.
God's Promise of Sexual Fulfillment
The promise of sexual fulfillment is available to any husband and wife who will choose to enter into God's plan for their marriage.
Now some people see the sexual relationship in marriage and the pleasure and enjoyment of sex as unholy (and some denominations make people feel that way). Do you see the sexual relationship in marriage as unpleasing? Or, if you are enjoying it, do you feel you ought to be ashamed of yourself? Do you believe that if sex is pleasurable then it is unholy? Do you feel you should be involved in this pleasurable act only to reproduce?
For people who have accepted these inaccurate ideas about the sexual relationship, the result will be a hurried physical act without tenderness or pleasure. A woman who has been married for 25 years might never have experienced any sort of sexual fulfillment because the act has not been one of care and concern. It has, instead, been a mechanical act, perhaps the result of religious convictions, but certainly nothing to be enjoyed. There is just no pleasure in sex at all. I mean who wants to feel like a baby-making machine, whether male or female?
So, you need to understand that you have God's permission to enjoy sex. After all, He invented it. Now let me emphasize that I am talking about this only within the framework of marriage. You don't have God's permission to enjoy sex unless it is between you and your wife, having been joined within the legal frameworks of marriage.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:24).
What does cleave mean? This verse in The Amplified Bible and the New International Version says they are to be united. In the New King James Version, it says they are to be joined. So, to cleave means to stick to like glue!
Notice in this verse it doesn't even talk about being one spirit or one soul; it says they will be one flesh. What is the only way a man can become one flesh with a woman? Through intercourse. Then verse 25 says:
"And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."
So God created it, established it and permitted it.
In Mark's gospel, chapter 10, Jesus says:
But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause (since God made them male and female) shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man out asunder (Mark 10:6-9).
In other words, it is God Who established this marriage institution and Who established sex in the Christian marriage. Jesus is saying: "Don't let anybody say that this doesn't exist or that it isn't the will of God. Don't let it destroy this institution. God is the One Who instituted sex in the Christian marriage. He knows about sex and He wants to be a part of it within the Christian marriage."
Your sexual relationship with your wife should be getting greater and greater and greater - month by month, year by year.
We find God's expression about marriage again in Ephesians 5:31:
"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
So God is interested in one flesh, isn't He? He is interested in man and woman coming together as husband and wife. God's Word says the marriage bed is holy. Every time God talks about marriage, He is talking about sex. Hebrews 13:4 says:
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled. ..."
Where is the bed undefiled? Within marriage.
So, what is the reciprocal here? If you have sex when you are not married, then your bed has been defiled. You have defiled the place God had created for sexual activity between the husband and wife. Sex in marriage was not intended just for reproduction; it was intended for pleasure. That means you ought to have pleasure when you experience it. So get rid of the myth that sex is intended just for reproduction.
Creflo Dollar Ministries