A child needs affirmation from his parents. It is the job of parents to teach their children they are loved despite their weaknesses and flaws.
If children are instilled with that knowledge from a young age, they will grow up with solidity to their personality. They will not always be on a "works trip" trying to manifest perfection, thinking that the only way they will be accepted is by their good deeds.
A lot of times parents don't know how to give that affirmation. Often they have problems because they did not receive affirmation from their parents.
I read a story about a man who had never been able to get affirmation from his father. The father had never said, "I love you and am pleased with you."
This man was successful, yet he was very unhappy and would find himself weeping and crying for no apparent reason. So he began to go to therapy where he discovered the root cause of his problem. He learned he was constantly trying to prove himself to his father through works, which left him worn out all the time.
Several times during these counseling sessions this man made trips across the country to his father's house still trying to get his father to affirm him. He longed to hear his father say, "Son, I love you and think you're great. I'm proud of what you've accomplished in life."
So many times we just want somebody to say, "I'm proud of you. I'm pleased with you." But sometimes we must come to realize we may never receive that affirmation we desire from certain people.
One day the man left his father's house saying to himself, "My father is never going to give me what I'm trying to get him to give me - he doesn't know how."
When he said that, it was as though something broke in him. From that moment on he experienced a liberty of spirit he had never known before.
Accepted in the Beloved
For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will [because it pleased Him and was His kind intent] -We need certain things from our loved ones, but if they do not know how to give those things to us, God does. He will be our mother, our father, our husband or wife, whatever we need Him to be.
[So that we might be] to the praise and the commendation of His glorious grace (favor and mercy), which He so freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.
(Eph.s 1:5-6)
Part of our struggle may simply be trying to get affirmation from somebody who is never going to give it to us because he simply doesn't know how.
The Bible teaches us that we have been made acceptable to God in the Beloved (His Son Jesus Christ), and that anyone who comes to the Father through Jesus He will in no wise cast out.
(Eph. 1:6 KJV; John 6:37 KJV)
The Lord will give us and build in us those things that others are not able to give us.
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers