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I would like to say this, however, to clear up an issue right now: It's a myth that there is only one special person out there for you. There is more than one person who is able to fulfill your goals in a mate. Chances are, you know of a couple of people right now.

But let's just say, for the purpose of illustration, that it were true that there was just one person for you. What happens if that special somebody, who has a free will just like you do, gets caught up with the wrong crowd, and instead of following God, ends up in jail for the next twenty-five years?

So suppose you end up marrying someone else. Well, does your marriage now upset the balance of the universe?

I mean, think about it! That would mean that the person you married was supposed to be with someone else, and that someone else will now have to marry someone else, who was supposed to be with someone else!

So, you see, that kind of teaching is fairy-tale foolishness. It's not based on the Word. It's not even well thought out.

And just to sum up the whole misconception, the Word of God even talks about widows who desire to be remarried. It clearly says that they can marry whomever they want - the only qualification is that the person be "in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39)!

Follow God's Word at Every Stage of the Relationship
Well, what happens when you find someone who meets or fulfills all your requirements? What then? You need to be like Abraham's servant and trust God to direct you before making a choice.

We learn from the Word of God that we find out the will of God in two ways: First, through His Word and second, through prayer. Both are in connection with being led by the Holy Spirit.

In other words, in order to follow the will of God for your life concerning the matter of a mate, you must be able to follow the leading of the Holy Ghost. However, you need to understand that any direction the Holy Ghost leads you in will always be in line with the Word of God.

The Spirit of God will never contradict the Word of God. For example, the Holy Spirit will not lead a man to try to take another man's wife, because that is contrary to the Word. So the direction that the Holy Ghost leads you in will be in line with God's Word.

I can't stress this enough. Great men and women of God have lost their ministries because they didn't understand this one concept. So whatever you do, you must always operate according to the principles found in the Word of God.

That means to put the Word of God first and the Holy Spirit's leading second. If you'll follow this principle, you will always be safe, because God's Spirit will only confirm God's Word.

Your Heavenly Father Knows Best
You need to make a decision that you're not going to limit yourself to one particular "type" of person physically. God's choice should be your type. He knows what's best for you. Do you know how many hairs are on your head?

No, you don't, but God does. And He knows exactly the type of person you need and who needs you. Just make a decision that you're going to trust Him. And let me tell you, He will always show up and show out!

Those external things are not what's important about a person. You need to fall in love with the person, not the person's appearance. Have you ever met someone you thought was so fine that you could barely handle it? And then you had the opportunity to date that person?

Let me tell you what usually happens. At first, every time that person comes by, chills run up and down your spine. However, five weeks later, after you've really gotten to know the person, you can't stand him or her, and you can't even remember why you were ever so excited in the first place.

Most of us have been there. But imagine if you were foolish enough to marry that person! (That's not a pretty thought, is it?)

Don't get me wrong. God wants you to marry someone whom you're attracted to, but the person's physical appearance should just be the icing on the cake. First, you have to have a good cake, and then comes the icing!

The Holy Spirit is a perfect gentleman. He will not force you to do anything. So whether or not you follow peace - whether or not you follow His leading - is up to you (Col. 3:15).

Copyright © God's Plan for the Single Saint by Keith A. Butler, II
All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Author Biography

Andre Butler
Web site: Andre Bulter
With an undeniable passion for equipping others to experience the future God has for them, Andre Butler is on a mission to share God's desire to prosper His people in every area of their lives, and His command for them to do their part in winning the world to Jesus. The Pastor of Faith Xperience Church (FX Church) in the heart of Downtown Detroit, he is a sought-after conference speaker and host known for his practical and relatable approach to preaching God's word. A graduate of Rhema Bible Training Center, Pastor Andre also holds a bachelor's degree in Management from Kennesaw State University. He resides in Metro Detroit.

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