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Have you ever noticed that men just seem to have this nature that insists that they go all out?

Whatever it is that we are into, we go all out. If it's fishing, we go all out. We've got to have the latest tackle. We've got to have the latest depth finder, or the latest boat. We go all out.

We go bowling one time and the next day, we want our own bowling shoes, our own bowling ball and the bag to carry everything in. It's just our nature to go "all out."

Go All Out
Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." The Message translation says it this way, "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives."

In other words, become just as dedicated to loving your wife as you are to whatever your hobby is!

Jesus went all out for the church. Aren't you glad He didn't stop at Calvary and say, "Wait a minute, this is enough. My sides have been pierced. My hands have been nailed to the cross. That's enough. If this doesn't redeem mankind then that's it."

No. He went all out, even unto death. He did not leave out one detail.

After reading this verse, I had to ask myself, Is that the way I feel about my wife? I know I love her. There's no question about that. But, am I demonstrating to her an all-out love as much as I would my hobbies, my interests, or my work?

I go all out in my work. I will never be accused of being a lazy person. I go all out. I will never be accused of being a lousy provider. But is that what she sees in my love for her?

A Demonstration Of Love & Giving
We've got to be willing to go all out in demonstrating our love for our wives just as much as we go all out in other things that interest us.

The Message continues to say, "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church - a love marked by giving, not by getting." In other words, the distinguishing mark of this love that you have for your wife is giving. God so loved the world that He gave... Christ so loved the church that He gave. Husbands so love their wives that they should give.

That does not mean just in things. Even though giving things is important. Buying her the things that she needs to make her life better is very important.

One of the greatest gifts that you can give your mate is to be a good listener. Men have a hard time with that one! What's important to her should become important to you. Even though it is obvious that what is important to most women is very different from what is important to most men.

Surely, some of the things you bring up to Jesus could seem unimportant to Him, but He still listens. No matter how insignificant, He listens. Not one time has Jesus ever said to me, "I don't have time for that, Jerry. Don't you understand, I'm trying to run the universe? Now let's get on to something else besides your ingrown toenail."

No. Jesus is interested. He can be touched with the feelings of our infirmities.

Watch Those Little Foxes
For restoration or healing to take place in a relationship, we've got to be willing to swallow our pride and admit that we've made mistakes. In the case of marriage, it's usually not the big issues that cause a divorce. It's the small things. Jesus says that it's the little foxes that spoil the vines.

It's not major things that cause marriages to erode. It's little things that we never take the time to repair, adjust and correct. All Satan needs is a foothold. If your wife has been crying out for time with you, then you better wake up and do something about it. A marriage doesn't instantly collapse. It's a process.

Until we are willing to admit that we've made some mistakes and we need some improvement, the Holy Spirit can't reveal to us what is needed to bring correction.

Love is action. It is not just words. God not only wants to hear that we love Him, but He likes some action behind those words. It is the same way in marriage.

Taking action can include anything from showing your love through gifts or just being willing to listen. When men begin to demonstrate Christ-like love toward their wives, then wives obviously will respond, just as the church responds to Jesus' love.

Demonstrating love is not a one-time thing. This is something that you commit to on a daily basis. The Bible says that the husband is the head, and he should love his wife as Christ loves the church. That means that men should initiate things. We should be the ones to gather the family together to pray. We should initiate a family night out or just an evening with our wives. We need to learn to develop better communication skills. Wives want us to talk to them more.

It's time for us men to realize that God is more interested in our marriage than He is our work, our ministry, or our hobbies. God is more interested in your marriage succeeding than anything else that you do. If your marriage succeeds, then everything else will succeed.

Being a good husband is not something you learn in a day. Being a good husband is hard work. It is a time consuming thing. One time, I said, "Lord, with all the demands that are on me, how can I devote any more time to Carolyn?" That's the one thing she was crying out for. Then it suddenly dawned on me.

If I begin to treat my marriage like I treat my job, then time management becomes an important factor. I've got so many demands on me that I have to categorize and put into priority what has to be done. I have to have a "to do" list every day or I can't get it all done.

And the Lord simply said, "Son, apply the same principle to your marriage that you are applying to your job." He said, "You never go into your office without your "to do" list. Do the same thing with your marriage. From now on, put time with your wife at the top of the list and everything else under it."

Top Of The List
I said, "How am I going to get everything else done?" He said, "If you lose your wife, will any of the other matter?" I said, "I'm not willing to lose my wife." He said, "Put Carolyn at the top of the list and make everything else fit around her." I'm still learning how to do this, but I am making progress.

I'm not challenging you to do anything that I'm not being challenged to do myself. If you do it by faith, then somehow, some way, God can cause everything else to get done in less time and have time left over. So, husbands, let's put our wives at the top of our list.

It's important that they become a priority in our lives. Start taking the time to just sit down and listen. If need be, take your Day timer and write in it, "special times with my wife," just like important appointments and don't let anything interfere with them.

Have fun with each other. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you new and exciting ways to do more things together.

It's obvious that Satan is out to destroy marriages...especially, born-again, spirit-filled, Holy Ghost-united marriages. Why? Because we are such a threat to him. One can put a thousand to flight and two can put ten thousand. Satan knows, when a man and a woman come together in holy matrimony, and they determine to put God first place in their marriage, then they will become "bad news" for the devil.

So we need to recognize that there is an unseen enemy that is doing everything that he can to find a foothold where he can bring division. Shut the door on him! Be sensitive to the needs of your mate. And go all out in your love for the one that God has handpicked to stand by your side.

Together you can accomplish anything you can dream.

Copyright © Jerry Savelle Ministries International
All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Author Biography

Jerry Savelle
Web site: Jerry Savelle Ministries International
Dr. Jerry Savelle was an average, blue-collar man who was struggling and needed God's help. While he considered himself a "nobody," when he became a believer God told him not to worry about it because He was a master at making champions out of nobodies. God has since taken Dr. Savelle from being a constant quitter to a man who knows how to stand on the Word of God until victory is experienced. Because of the life-changing combination of God's faithfulness and Dr. Savelle's "no quit" attitude, his life is totally different than it was thirty-eight years ago.

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