Article Display
Email  |  My Account  |  Donate
Consciously, none of us want to harm our spouses or lead them down wrong paths or cause them to make bad decisions. So what would be our motivation to act this way? It's usually one of two reasons.

One, we want to make ourselves happy. We are thinking of how the decision will affect us, and we encourage our spouse to make a decision that will make us happy at the moment. We focus on ourselves.

Or two, we want to make our spouses happy. Maybe you're out to dinner with your husband, and he has told you how bad he wants to cut back on sugar. And he asked you to please help keep him in check.

Well, you finish dinner, and he looks up at you with a sad look on his face and asks, "Do you think it would be okay if I just had a little piece of pie? I'll even have apple pie, because that has fruit in it!"

Well who wants to be the party-pooper and bring up his sugar issue? He'll just get grumpy if you remind him - no matter how nice you are about it. So, you might just reply, "Sure, I don't care. Go for it."

Well, consider this verse: Proverbs 27:5-6 says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

And in Proverbs 24:26 we read, "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips." It's always better to tell the truth in love.

So, let's look at the acronym "devil" to see how we might give our spouses bad advice.
  • Downplays consequences
    This kind of person encourages his or her spouse to either ignore the consequences completely by focusing on the immediate rewards or pretends the consequences really won't be that bad.

    Maybe we would say, "Sure, baby. Let's just buy it. I know it's not in our budget for this month, but we can just charge it and pay it next month. We'll cut back on something else to make up for it. Besides, it's only thirty bucks. We'll be fine."
  • Elevates fleshly desires
    This person focuses on pleasing theirs and their spouse's fleshly desires. It's all about the senses - what would look good, feel good, taste good, etc.

    You might say, "Honey, I know you're trying to stick to your diet, and you've been doing great! So, I totally agree that you should splurge and we should each eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's. It will be SOOO yummy! I can already taste the thick fudge and gooey caramel!"
  • Victimizes you
    These kinds of words focus on "poor you." You tell your spouse that he or she is the victim here. Too tired to go to church?

    "Poor, tired you. You deserve to stay home." Too hungry to turn down a third piece of cheesecake? "Poor, hungry you. You deserve to eat it." Don't feel like paying your tithe this month? "Poor, deprived you. You deserve to spend that money on yourself this month." See how that works?

    When we treat our spouses this way, they will end up feeling that they deserve everything they want - that the world is out to get them and box them in with harsh rules.
  • Impedes judgment
    A little devil takes logical thought - or what we know it our hearts to be true - and throws it out the window. For example, use your sound judgment here. What do you think?

    Is it a good idea to buy a new plasma High Definition TV that costs $3,000 when you owe more than $15,000 on credit cards and are barely making it each month? If you don't know, let me help you - NO!

    But the little devil will point out that there's a great deal going on right now where you don't have to pay anything for 12 months! What a deal!

    And you'll have the money by then. Buy it now! Wouldn't it look SO cool in your living room? What a great space saver! It actually makes a lot of sense! Or not....
  • Lives for the moment
    The only thought this person has is for the immediate moment. It's all about what he or she wants right now. Those who encourage their spouse to make decisions based on what they are feeling at that immediate moment are setting them up for failure.

    The moment only lasts for just that - a moment - and suddenly, the future and all it holds (including consequences) is quickly upon us.

    The Bible says in Proverbs 24:11-12,
    Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,' does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?

    Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?
    ( Prov. 24:11-12)
    Pretty stern words, huh? It is our responsibility to be our spouse's "angel" - to gently guide him or her down the path of life.

    Copyright © CFAITH All rights reserved.

Author Biography

Danny Gutierrez
Web site: Danny Gutiererrez
The Gutierrez family has served together in Peru since 2011. Danny and Stephanie serve on the pastoral staff and executive team of Camino de Vida, a growing church with 5 campuses located in the capital city of Lima.

About Us

The online ministry of cfaith has been helping people discover faith, friends and freedom in the Word since 2000. Cfaith provides a unique and comprehensive collection of faith-building resources for the worldwide faith community.

At cfaith, you can strengthen your faith and deepen your understanding of the Word of God by digging into the vast collection of teaching articles, streaming audio and video messages, and daily devotionals. No other website offers such a unique and extensive collection of spiritual-growth resources aimed at helping you grow in your knowledge of the Word.




Support Us

Why support cfaith?

(All contributions are 100% tax deductible)


For every Internet search you make using
goodsearch, cfaith will receive one penny!

GS Logo 250x38

Contact Us

Business Hours:

Monday—Friday: 9 a.m.—5 p.m. CST
Saturday & Sunday: Closed


(763) 488-7800 or (800) 748-8107

Mailing Address:
9201 75th Avenue North
Brooklyn Park, MN 55428


Login Form

Please ignore the “Secret Key” field; it is not needed to log in to cfaith.

Login Change Article

You need to enable user registration from User Manager/Options in the backend of Joomla before this module will activate.