Just as most wives have a genuine need for financial security, most husbands have a strong need for domestic security. What do I mean by "domestic security"?
Domestic security describes a man's need to know things are being cared for at home while he's out hammering away winning the bread. He needs to be assured that when he comes home his house is going to be in order.
Many wives don't fully appreciate or understand what it means to a man to know the home front is being taken care of while he's out doing his best to earn a living. First Timothy 5:14 speaks of this need; "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully."
To a man, a well-ordered home is a refuge. Having that type of refuge from the stresses and pressures of the outside world meets a very important need in his life.
Family and Fun
One of the top needs for wives is "family commitment." Family commitment means the husband has a vital, active interest in everything going on in the family.
The Bible teaches a man's family should be second in priority only to his relationship to God. You can see how much importance God places on family commitment in Genesis 18. There, in effect, God says, "I can bless Abraham because I know he will command and direct his children and his household in My ways."
Every wife needs to know that her husband takes ultimate and final responsibility for everything that concerns the family. Men, that means sitting down with your wife and discussing the decisions that need to be made, establishing the vision for the family, talking about the discipline and education of the children, and generally taking an active role in the family.
It also means spending real, quality time with the children, as individuals and as a group. I'm not talking about sitting together in front of the television, either. I'm talking about real times of interaction.
Recreational Companion
Another need cited by husbands is "recreational companionship." "What on earth is recreational companionship?" I hear you wives asking. It simply means getting involved and going along as he pursues some of his interests.
The old stereotype of a husband always leaving his wife at home to go have fun with the boys should have no place in a Christian home. His best buddy is to be you. He shouldn't have to go out with the boys every time he wants to do something fun.
Get involved with him. Sit down with him and develop mutual interests. It will meet a very important need in his life and strengthen your relationship like few other things can.
It Goes Both Ways
As you learn to identify and meet each other's unique needs, you'll find more fulfillment, happiness, and joy in your marriage than you ever dreamed possible.
Excerpt permission granted by Living Word International
Mac Hammond is the senior pastor of Living Word, a large and growing church in Brooklyn Park (a suburb of Minneapolis), Minnesota. He is the host of the Winner’s Minute, which is seen locally in the Minneapolis area on KMSP Channel 9 at 6:44 a.m. and 11:11 a.m. He is also the host of the Winner's Way broadcast and author of several internationally distributed books. Mac is broadly acclaimed for his ability to apply the principles of the Bible to practical situations and the challenges of daily living.
