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We don't get a great marriage or a great family because we are lucky. Good marriages and families are continuously, purposefully and aggressively built.
You don't just happen to find a great: marriage, family, career, life. You build one. A lifetime is spent either building up or tearing down. We get to choose which one.

What the Word Says
Building Up
Jesus said, " ...I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
(Matt. 16:18)

"By wisdom a house is built..."
(Prov. 24:3)

Tearing Down
"My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge..."
(Hosea 4:6)

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick..."
(Prov. 13:12)

We don't get a great marriage or a great family because we are lucky. Good marriages and families are continuously, purposefully and aggressively built. Building them requires skills we weren't born with. The good news is that it's never too late to learn.

We can develop the skills necessary to make our home pleasing to God.

The "building tools" we need to acquire come from God's Word.

Jesus set the example for us.

Jesus loved us and wanted us when nobody would have us. He didn't just find a beautiful bride without spot or wrinkle; He built the church by giving up His life for us, to make us holy and clean, washing us with the water of the Word.

The Bride of Christ—the Church—is what it is because someone built it. Great homes, great marriages and great families have to be built in the same way.

What The Word Says
By wisdom is a house built, and through understanding it is established, through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. (Prov. 23:3-4)
According to Scripture husbands and wives must "dwell together according to knowledge." I put it this way: "Marriage is the process of two ignorant people growing up together."

By obeying principles from the Word, we can make our relationship exciting, lasting and fulfilling, and help our family fulfill its ultimate purpose here on earth—which is to glorify God.

Getting In Agreement
In marriage, our spouse is our partner in this building process. When we get in agreement we will start to see amazing things happen.
"Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them."
(Matt. 18:19,20)
Agreement in thinking is the goal.
Then make my joy complete by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
(Phi. 2:2 NIV)
The farther apart a couple is in their thinking, the farther apart they will grow in their marriage relationship. Now, that doesn't mean you will always see things the same at first—that just means you are of one mind when it comes to planning and building your life together.
Finally, (husbands and wives), all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds.
(1 Peter 3:8 NLT)
Communication is the key to like-mindedness.
The first step in being like-minded is being understanding with one another.
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. (Eph. 4:25 KJV)
Many times we can ignore our spouse to keep them from talking by either giving them the silent treatment or by blowing up in anger.
We can keep a person from talking, but we cannot keep them from thinking. The more issues that arise unresolved through lack of communication, the farther a wedge is driven between a couple.
Being truthful in relationships involves speaking from our hearts. In communicating, don’t say what you think  someone wants to hear, speak the truth from your heart.
Let nothing be done through strife  or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
(Phil. 2:3 KJV)
Let nothing be done through strife. This includes communication.
Before we speak it's important to check our attitude. Both people in a marriage have qualities in certain areas that are better than their mate's. Affirm your spouse in areas where they are better.
Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
(Phil. 2:4)
We need to take our spouses dreams, desires, and aspirations as seriously as our own and be willing to compromise when necessary.
Just A Thought
Ten Communication Killers.
  1. Negative body language.
  2. Failing to fully listen.
  3. Withdrawing.
  4. Changing the subject.
  5. Clamming up or pouting.
  6. Losing control.
  7. Making big things out of little things.
  8. Attempting to mind read or psychoanalyze.
  9. Seeking peace at any cost/caving in.
  10. Turning up the volume on the TV.
We see things differently and that's a strength, not a problem. The "problem" arises when we don't work together and communicate as we build a life together. It's up to us to do the natural and God will do the supernatural.
Let's build a life worth remembering—a life built on God's Word and fulfill His plan for our life.

Copyright © Joe McGee Ministries
All rights reserved.

Author Biography

Joe McGee
Web site: Joe McGee Ministries
Joe McGee, author, national conference speaker, father, and former school administrator, is the founder and director of Joe McGee Ministries, Inc. and Faith For Families Ministries.

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