Myth #4: Marriage Is for Everyone
Despite the fact that most people in our society eventually get married, it’s important to keep in mind that marriage is not God’s plan for everyone. There are those who, like the Apostle Paul, have the gift of abstinence. That simply means they have no compelling need for a sexual relationship.

Such gifted people can serve God in ministry in a much greater way than married people can because they don’t have to attend to the responsibilities of a family. In I Corinthians 7, Paul, addressing this subject, writes:

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband (verses 28, 32-34).

You need to realize some troubles will arise in your life as a result of marriage. You’re living in a fool’s paradise if you think just because you have a romantic or even a spiritual experience with your mate that you won’t have problems. Marriage is made of problems! It is a continuing opportunity to cope with and overcome one attack of the devil right after another. If you go into marriage thinking otherwise, you’re already starting out on the wrong foot.

For that reason Paul advises those who want to give themselves completely to the ministry of the Lord to remain single. However Paul says, if they cannot abstain from sexual passion, “let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn” (1 Corinthians 7:9).

Now that doesn’t mean you should get married because you’re burning with sexual lust. No. Fix the burn before you get married because if you marry with the burn, you’ll burn up after you get married! The lust that drove you to marriage will eventually drive you out of your own household into adulterous relationships. So deal with it now.

Take Your Time
“OK, Pastor Dollar, I’m ready,” you say. “I have a solid relationship with Jesus. He’s healed my broken heart. I’m happy, healthy and I want to get married. Do you have any other words of wisdom for me?”

Yes, when you choose a mate be absolutely sure to obey the instructions God gives in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?”

In other words, only marry a believer. Unpopular though it sometimes may be among singles, that is a requirement of God. Keep it without compromise

If you’re dating a man who is “kind of saved,” who drinks a little and smokes a little and cusses a little, then get rid of him until he gets delivered from that little bit of stuff he’s been doing. You don’t need to marry into that mess. You wait until he gets “real saved” before you marry him.

Even then don’t rush into anything. Take time to observe that potential mate very carefully. They are not always what they appear to be. Just because they say they’re a Christian, don’t automatically believe it.

The Bible says you’ll know Christians by the fruit they bear. So let that boyfriend or girlfriend bear some fruit first. Then give it time and see if that fruit lasts. Don’t say, “Well he bore fruit last week so we’ll get married the next!”

No, I advise you to give it at least one year. If that boy is still opening doors for you and sending flowers, if he’s still concerned about you and hasn’t pressured you into sexual activity after a year, reel him in because he’s a good catch! If that girl is still talking sweetly to you and treating you with respect after she’s been seeing you a year, set the wedding date, because she’s the one you’ve been praying for God to send.

Finally as Colossians 3:15 says, “let the peace from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts” (The Amplified Bible). Next to making Jesus your Lord, choosing a mate is the most monumental decision you’ll ever make. So don’t do anything unless God’s peace in your heart tells you it’s safe.

Let Him direct you. Never jump ahead of Him. Relax and let God bring that right person to you in His own way. Don’t get in a hurry and make a mistake. After all, “till death do you part” is a long, long time.