But in John 15:10, the Bible says love comes when you keep God's commandments—when you abide in His commandments. Abide means "to set up residence" there; it means to live there.
To abide does not mean to go in and out at your convenience. It means to live there. Jesus says, "When you keep My commandments, you love Me." Therefore, love is based on obedience, not on emotion. "Do what I tell you to do," He said, "and you demonstrate My love."
Now, when I get that Word and deposit it in my heart, especially in my marriage, then I know how to overcome my emotions. So when I don't feel as if I love any more, I simply obey God where the Word tells me to be the type of husband I need to be. I simply obey God, and my wife simply obeys God; and whatever love we thought we lost will be rekindled as we obey God.
That's called submitting yourselves one to another. As we are obeying God and doing what the Word tells us to do, whatever we thought we'd lost, we'll find out we really gained.
But I can never do that if I don't know what the Word says. So knowing what the Word says becomes vital to my marriage. We have to know what the Word of God says in order to use it to overcome trouble in any area of our lives.
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers