With Mothers Day coming up, I thought I would post something fun that provides some good humor!
1. My Mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My Mom taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My Mom taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My Mom taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My Mom taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My Mom taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My Mom taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. My Mom taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My Mom taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My Mom taught me about PATIENCE. “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My Mom taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. My Mom taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My Mom taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
14. My Mom taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. “Stop acting like your father!”
15. My Mom taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My Mom taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”
17. My Mom taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My Mom taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way.”
19. My Mom taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My Mom taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My Mom taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My Mom taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”
23. My Mom taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My Mom taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
25. And my favorite: My Mom taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
I did and Mom was right, they did. Maybe they should read this list, too.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Timothy Burt is a pastor, author, and writer. He is best known as the author of Fresh Manna, a daily devotional and online Bible study.
Pastor Tim became a part of the leadership team at Living Word Christian Center in 1984 and was an Associate Pastor from 1989 until May 31st, 2017. He and His wife Renee, also a Pastor at Living Word, resigned after being a part of Living Word for 33 years on May 31, 2017. They felt impressed by God to pursue the tremendous growth of their ministry "Fresh Manna," as well as teaching conferences and seminars and increasing their involvement in the mission field through Tim and Renee Burt Ministries. Tim has a Bachelor of Theology degree and is a Christian blogger who has been writing a daily inspirational and teaching devotion three days a week called "Fresh Manna" for the past 22 years. It has been read in over 227 countries (official countries and territories). Tim was named one of the top 55 blogging Pastors. He is one of the top Social Media influencers in Minnesota with a strong presence on Twitter at https://twitter.com/TimBurt with over 187,000 followers. Between Tim's Fresh Manna Devotional and Twitter influence, he virally averages reaching over 4 million people daily with the gospel of Jesus Christ and the love of God.
Prior to working at LWCC, he worked at Northwest Airlines for 13 years. In 1985 he founded and was President of American Infant Care Products which marketed his patented invention, the first fold-down commercial infant changing table now used worldwide in public restrooms.
In their tenure at Living Word, Timothy Burt and his wife Renee created a Small Group Ministry when the church was about 800 people in size. Under the leadership of Sr. Pastors Mac and Lynne Hammond, the church grew to over 10,000 people. Pastor Tim and Renee led a diverse Small Group Ministry of over 200 groups. Tim also led weekly men's groups and a monthly Men's Breakfast of 250 plus men called Manhood for 27 years. Tim's responsibilities also included oversight over the Visitor and Member Relations Department, Leadership and Volunteer Development, and the Pastoral Care Department. Pastor Tim was also the Minnesota State Director of Christians United for Israel from 2006 thru 2017.
Tim and Renee are the parents of four children and have seven grandchildren. Tim loves to write, golf, run, and walk, and is a master gardener. He is a five-time marathon finisher. He is also a three-time award-winning gardener winning the Grand Prize in his city for his beautiful home garden and is a Master Gardener for the University of Minnesota's Master Gardener Extension Program.