There are so many divorces today simply because we are not following God’s original plan, even on how to choose a mate. Many of us didn’t choose a mate based upon the Word of God. Our choice was formulated and based upon Hollywood’s depiction of love.
Statistics have even shown that more than 77 percent of Americans are choosing to cohabit after the first marriage in situations involving no children, and more than 63 percent cohabit in relationships involving two or more children.
Many factors contribute to the increase in cohabitation after divorce in the American culture. The statistics are alarming in that they show that a large number of children are forced to live in homes where the adults have chosen to live together but not marry.
Please note: Trying to blend a family without the blessing of God on your life means there are many difficult roadblocks ahead for you and your family.
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Outward appearances and the need for self-fulfillment are often prominent forces in what prompt people to choose whom they will marry. This must be said: a person’s outward appearance does not reveal who that person is inside.
Many good men and women would make wonderful husbands and wives, if someone would just look into their hearts. Unfortunately, physical appearance bears far too much weight in the decision for many people. Many men seem to think, If she’s pretty, she’s a good woman. Many women seem to think, If he’s handsome, he’s a good man. If he’s rich, he will be a good provider. If he is strong physically, he will protect me. Not allowing God to guide you in choosing the right mate will lead you into deception, false hopes, and delusions of what your marriage should be.
Today at least one third of all children are expected to live in a stepfamily before they reach the age of 18. The blended family is becoming more the norm than an aberration. Because stepfamilies are so complicated, it takes a long time—often four to seven years, or longer—for people to get to know each other, create positive relationships, and develop a family history.
Recognize the Attack
The devil attacks the family because the family affects all of society. The majority of societal problems in the world stem from problems in the family, such as incest, physical abuse, alcoholism, poverty, infidelity, pornography, homosexuality, single-parent households, and high school-dropout rates, to name only a few.
The church has not openly addressed these issues, but they are now being forced into the forefront for discussion by changes in contemporary culture. Over fifty percent of people in Christian church congregations in the USA are in, or related to, a blended family. Conservative statistics show that the divorce rate for remarriages exceeds 60 percent. Part of the reason for this high rate is that most struggling stepfamilies dissolve and end in divorce within the first four years—before their family has had time to blend.
In years past, troubling issues such as this were not discussed. However, we cannot afford the luxury of ignorance or the ease of silence concerning such matters.
The purpose and protection of our families are at stake!
When you are in a divorce situation, you are forced to seek God for His plans and not your own. Divorce is a process that brings pain, confusion, bitterness, rejection, and sometimes resentment. God sees the whole thing, and only He can fix it! He can and will restore, repair, and replace everything that was destroyed in your life. Now, embrace His plan and purpose for your life!
- Pray: Jeremiah 29:11 NLT. Seek the plan of God for your life. Father God, Your Word says that You know the plans You have for me and my family—plans for good and not for disaster, to give us a future and a hope.
- Forgive yourself for all the wrong choices you have made.
- Pray for all the children involved.
- Begin preparing your heart to love again.
- Purpose in your heart to stay in this new marriage.
Scripture References
Matthew 6:33,34
Genesis 2:18, 21–23
by Steve and Donna Houpe
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers
Bishop Steve Houpe is the Founder and Senior Pastor of Harvest Church International Outreach In Kansas City, Missouri. . He is the loving husband of Dr. Donna Leah Houpe, as well as a proud father and grandfather.
Upon his graduating and ordination from Rhema Bible Training Center in 1986, Pastor Steve Houpe, a native Ohioan, was led by the Spirit of God to Kansas City, Missouri, having never before been, to begin the Harvest Church Ministry. The vision that God gave Pastor Houpe for Harvest Church was to "restore lost humanity back to God." Pastor Houpe believes it is the responsibility of the Church to win the lost to Jesus, edify the Body of Christ and to minister healing to the total man.
Harvest Church is an inter-denominational, multi-cultural church, where emphasis is placed on preaching and teaching the infallible Word of God. It is an oasis of love and one of the fastest growing churches in the Kansas City area. The church serves the community through two Satellite Church locations, a Nursery through 8th grade private school, and it's developmental outreach initiative called "Project Destiny."
Pastor Steve Houpe is the author of a number of books including the best seller, No More Soul Ties, Help! I Want to Save My Ministry, Prayer, Fasting, and The Anointing, The ABC's of Faith, Men of Courage, Men of Strength, and Becoming One Family: Bringing Blended Families Together, which is co-authored alongside his wife, and many more!
Pastor Houpe, alongside his lovely wife Dr. Donna Leah Houpe, continues to touch lives locally, nationally, and internationally. Pastor Houpe has faithfully committed himself to the yielding of the Holy Spirit and continues to carry out the mission of spreading God's Word to the world.
The messages that are ministered through Pastor Houpe are touching lives across the Kansas City area and abroad. Many lives have been changed by Pastor Houpe yielding to the Spirit of God through the ministry God has given him. All kinds of people, regardless of race, nationality, social-economic positions and all levels of education have received his teaching of the Word of God. Those who listen, receive, and apply what God ministers through Pastor Steve Houpe are victorious in their walk with God and strengthened to endure until the day of Jesus' return.
For 27 years, Pastor Houpe has impacted the Kansas City metropolitan area through various programs. Harvest Community Development Corporation, Inc. (HCDC) will carry out the community development plan called Project Destiny. Project Destiny is a multi-phased development project whose purpose is to meet the needs of the community by providing affordable housing, medical facilities, supportive services, educational opportunities and opportunities for entrepreneurial development. Completed phases of Project Destiny include a Senior Citizen living facility, Gymnasium and Activity Center, Restaurant, a home for unwed teen mothers, and still forthcoming are it's Career Development and Training Center, Family Residential Subdivision and more.