Following a 34-17 loss on October 2nd, Santonio Holmes, wide receiver and team captain for the New York Jets, suggested fault for the defeat lay with his team’s quarterback and offensive linemen. In venting his frustration, Holmes violated a team rule to keep criticism of fellow players internal to the organization. The wide receiver’s comments raised the ire of teammates who publicly voiced their disapproval of his leadership. When asked by the media about the effect of his critical remarks, Holmes defended himself and remained largely unapologetic.
The seeds of dissension sown by Holmes eventually sprouted into full-blown discord, culminating in an embarrassing display of disunity during the Jets’ final game. Entering the last contest of their regular season, the Jets needed to beat the hapless Miami Dolphins to have hope of making the playoffs. Throughout the game, Santonio Holmes appeared distracted and unmotivated to his teammates. When they questioned his lackluster attitude, Holmes erupted, shouting at teammates and provoking an altercation in the huddle. Exasperated by the situation, coaches chose to bench Holmes for the closing minutes of the 19-17 loss, despite his prodigious playmaking ability.
The way Santonio Holmes behaved during the 2011 season serves as a case study for how not to address problems on a team. Leaders should never let the situation mean more than the relationship. Holmes may have had every right to feel disappointed in the performances of his teammates, but his manner of response disrupted team chemistry by wrecking relationships.
Three Steps for Dealing with Relational Difficulties
As a leader, the first step in dealing with relational difficulties is to acknowledge problems privately. In complaining to the media about the play of his teammates, Holmes communicated more than dissatisfaction with their performance; he also expressed disrespect. People have a hard time handling criticism, but if delivered behind closed doors, in private conversation, they may respond constructively to it. However, when leaders disparage a teammate in public, they always damage their relationship with him or her.
Once the problem has been voiced, leaders must be willing to seek or extend forgiveness. When asked about his critical comments, Santonio Holmes offered an unremorseful and disingenuous apology. “If anybody feels bad about [my comments] then I’m sorry, but as a captain, that’s my job to point it out amongst ourselves.” In his so-called “apology,” Holmes essentially placed additional blame on his teammates for “feeling bad,” or taking offense, to his criticisms.
After a rift has occurred, leaders have to verbally commit to cooperate in repairing the relationship. Instead of putting in overtime to shore up his bond with teammates, Holmes did just the opposite. Leading up to the team’s last game, quarterback Mark Sanchez called for two extra meetings between the quarterbacks and wide receivers to improve their in-game cohesiveness. Holmes came to the first one, but sat in the back and complained throughout about having to attend. He then skipped the second meeting.
Closing Thought
As leaders, ideally we want to rebuild trust and restore relationships with teammates. However, in some cases, trust may be irrevocably broken. As a leader, at what point can you justify giving up on a work relationship?
John Maxwell grew up in the 1950s in the small Midwestern city of Circleville, Ohio. John's earliest childhood memory is of knowing that he would someday be a pastor. He professed faith in Christ at the age of three, and reaffirmed that commitment when he was 13. At age 17, John began preparing for the ministry. He attended Circleville Bible College, earning his bachelor's degree in 1969. In June of that same year, he married his sweetheart, Margaret, and moved to tiny Hillham, Indiana, where he began his first pastorate.
While serving in his second church, Maxwell began to study the correlation between leadership effectiveness and ministry effectiveness. On July 4, 1976, while preaching at a service commemorating America's bicentennial, John sensed that God was calling him into a ministry to pastors. Within days after that event, pastors began to contact him, asking for his assistance in nurturing their churches. Over the next four years, on an informal basis, John helped scores of fellow pastors. Then, in 1980, he was asked to become Executive Director of Evangelism for the Wesleyan denomination.
Though his time at Wesleyan headquarters was productive, John soon realized that his deeper desire was to help pastors from numerous denominations. He knew that desire would be unfulfilled if he were to stay at denominational headquarters. As a result, in 1981 John accepted the call to return to the pastorate, this time at Skyline Wesleyan Church in the San Diego, California area. But he did so with the church's blessing to pursue his vision. The Skyline congregation allowed him to continue mentoring and assisting pastors even as he led them to new levels.
In 1985, as he continued to equip and encourage other pastors, John took the next crucial step in leadership development. He founded a new company called INJOY and created the INJOY Life Club, featuring a monthly tape for leaders. The fledging operation, established in the corner of a garage, was soon bursting at the seams. The INJOY Life Club tapes were received with great enthusiasm, and the number of subscriptions quickly increased from hundreds to thousands. Simultaneously, the demand for other resources and seminars exploded. Pastors from coast to coast were responding, and their desire for help was even greater than John had anticipated.
As the years passed, INJOY began demanding more and more of John's time. In 1995, he resigned from his position as senior pastor at Skyline following a very fruitful 14-year tenure. The church had tripled in size and its lay ministry involvement had increased ten-fold. Dr. Maxwell is in great demand today as a speaker. Through his bestselling books, audio and video resources, and major conferences, he communicates directly with more than one million people every year. He is frequently asked to speak for organizations such as Promise Keepers and Focus on the Family, but his greatest joy and desire is to help pastors become better leaders.
Because the need for leadership development knows no borders, John established EQUIP, a non-profit organization which trains leaders in urban communities, academic institutions, and within international organizations. EQUIP is also spearheading a movement which has enlisted more than one million pastoral prayer partners who covenant to pray specifically for those who shepherd God's flock.
John continues to seek new opportunities to help churches and church leaders. He knows that one thing is constant: the only hope for the world is salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ, who gives life abundantly.