“Can two walk together, except they be agreed” (Amos 3:3 KJV)?
When you decide, I like this person; I want to see what makes him tick, then you move on to the casual friendship. The distinguishing characteristics are as follows: 1) It is based on common interests, activities, and concerns; 2) You have the freedom to ask specific questions, such as what opinions, ideas, wishes or goals the person has.
People who have common interests do not necessarily have common experiences. Common experiences are not a basis for a friendship or relationship. The basis for a friendship is the individual. You should just enjoy being with an individual for the sake of his interests, likes, and character.
There are two basic responsibilities with casual friends. First, you need to learn to identify and praise the other person’s positive qualities. Too often we major on the negative. That is why some people don’t have friends. If you major on the negative, you will chase people away. You have to find their positive traits and major on those things.
Secondly, you should design appropriate specific questions for children, youth, and adults. (Children are just little adults.) The general information you gather as acquaintances is basis for developing appropriate questions at the casual friendship stage.
A mistake we make is that we ask questions that interest us. Then when the other person responds negatively toward that issue, we get mad. That is selfish. We must make it a point to ask questions that interest them.
Hopefully, when you look for a job, you take the time to research the company so you can ask intelligent questions. Well, you have to do the same thing with friendships. When you are working on a friendship, you need to “research” or find out what the other person is interested in.
If you just did that, you’d save yourself a lot of trouble, because once you find that out, then you would know whether or not you could take this relationship to the next level.
The main thing to remember is that the choice to move from a casual friendship to a close one is a decision that each individual has to make for himself with God.
Scripture References: Matt. 18:19; 1 John 5:7-8
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Pastor Deborah L. Butler is the first lady Word of Faith International Christian Centre located in Southfield, Michigan where she serves in ministry with her husband, Bishop Keith A. Butler.
Pastor Deborah is a licensed and ordained minister of the Gospel. Her encouraging, yet down-to-earth teaching imparts wisdom from the Word of God into all that hear her speak. One of Pastor Butler’s many duties is serving as the Director of the Women of Virtue Ministry. Pastor Deborah is often called to travel to other ministries to teach and admonish women to walk in the wisdom of God, and to experience peace in every area of their lives.