“The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil” (Prov 15:28).
The Advertisement might read: “Can be more deadly than snakebite. Can be more terrifying than taking a bone from a junkyard dog. Can do more damage than a wrecking ball smashing into a building.”
What is it?
The “retort.”
Described in the dictionary, a Retort means:
– To make a reply, especially a quick, caustic, or witty one. To present a counter argument. To return like for like; to retaliate.
Whenever people need to speak something that could represent correction, those on the receiving end often put up quick walls, don’t fully listen, and snip back with quick retorts.
Those little retorts can be the beginning of a great battle – a battle that we didn’t really want to fight. They can be like a match to a gas can. They often come spontaneously and without premeditation.
Retorts can be sharper or more cutting than a razor. They often come in defensive posture. And they too often slip out of our mouth in response to something that was said which was not only truthful, but also meant as helpful advice – not as an attack.
Our spouse might try to point out something that we said or did that was inappropriate or that could have been handled in another way, and we simply don’t like what they say. “They don’t understand us,” we think. “They don’t know why we said or did what we did – even if it wasn’t appropriate.”
We try to justify our words or actions in our mind and put up a defense protecting our position – knowing deep down inside that we blew it and they are right. Rather than be quiet and listen, rather than reflect and begin to open our heart to what they said, we let slip out “the retort.”
Blessing and Cursing Don’t Mix
Those retorts often represent cutting words that begin to hurt and provoke. When they do, the battle has started. The bullets and bombs fly. Tears, hurtful remarks, and for some, worse things manifest.
I’m sure at this point the devil is excited for the way his plot turned out. Everyone is hurt, the pain is deep, and scars will be left. God helps us see this truth so we can be aware of it and learn to get His help in resisting the temptation to retort.
Let’s read in James 3:5-10 (TLB):
So also the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A great forest can be set on fire by one tiny spark. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness, and poisons every part of the body. And the tongue is set on fire by hell itself and can turn our whole lives into a blazing flame of destruction and disaster.
Men have trained (or can train) every kind of animal or bird that lives and every kind of reptile and fish, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is always ready to pour out its deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our heavenly Father, and sometimes it breaks out into curses against men who are made like God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Dear brothers, surely this is not right!
Defensiveness leads to “retorts” escaping our mouths. In our own self we can’t seem to find the strength to hold them back. That is what we read: “but no human being can tame the tongue.”
We can’t tame it. Retorts slip out. They start a fire, a battle or a war. Only by yielding to the Holy Spirit within us can we learn to keep our tongue under control.
God wants to help us with things we need help with in our life. The primary way He will speak to and correct us is through His Word. Proverbs 3:11-12 says, “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.”
Bombs Away!
We read, pray, and meditate on His Word and He speaks to our heart about things. But, He also uses people who love us to speak into our lives. Those are often the ones we lob the retorts at. When this happens we cancel out the ability to hear the truth that could have helped us.
I know it’s not easy for anyone to listen when people are trying to speak into our lives, especially when their comments are of a corrective nature. But, as our opening scripture says, “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”
When we understand how God purposes to use those close to us in order to help us, we can shut our mouth – with the help of the Holy Spirit – and really listen to what is being said.
We can then fashion an appropriate (non-defensive) reply or retort while at the same time expressing our appreciating for their help and input. They may not have said it in the best way possible, but we can still learn from it and be better off for it.
We just need to shut off those destructive retorts!
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Timothy Burt is a pastor, author, and writer. He is best known as the author of Fresh Manna, a daily devotional and online Bible study.
Pastor Tim became a part of the leadership team at Living Word Christian Center in 1984 and was an Associate Pastor from 1989 until May 31st, 2017. He and His wife Renee, also a Pastor at Living Word, resigned after being a part of Living Word for 33 years on May 31, 2017. They felt impressed by God to pursue the tremendous growth of their ministry "Fresh Manna," as well as teaching conferences and seminars and increasing their involvement in the mission field through Tim and Renee Burt Ministries. Tim has a Bachelor of Theology degree and is a Christian blogger who has been writing a daily inspirational and teaching devotion three days a week called "Fresh Manna" for the past 22 years. It has been read in over 227 countries (official countries and territories). Tim was named one of the top 55 blogging Pastors. He is one of the top Social Media influencers in Minnesota with a strong presence on Twitter at https://twitter.com/TimBurt with over 187,000 followers. Between Tim's Fresh Manna Devotional and Twitter influence, he virally averages reaching over 4 million people daily with the gospel of Jesus Christ and the love of God.
Prior to working at LWCC, he worked at Northwest Airlines for 13 years. In 1985 he founded and was President of American Infant Care Products which marketed his patented invention, the first fold-down commercial infant changing table now used worldwide in public restrooms.
In their tenure at Living Word, Timothy Burt and his wife Renee created a Small Group Ministry when the church was about 800 people in size. Under the leadership of Sr. Pastors Mac and Lynne Hammond, the church grew to over 10,000 people. Pastor Tim and Renee led a diverse Small Group Ministry of over 200 groups. Tim also led weekly men's groups and a monthly Men's Breakfast of 250 plus men called Manhood for 27 years. Tim's responsibilities also included oversight over the Visitor and Member Relations Department, Leadership and Volunteer Development, and the Pastoral Care Department. Pastor Tim was also the Minnesota State Director of Christians United for Israel from 2006 thru 2017.
Tim and Renee are the parents of four children and have seven grandchildren. Tim loves to write, golf, run, and walk, and is a master gardener. He is a five-time marathon finisher. He is also a three-time award-winning gardener winning the Grand Prize in his city for his beautiful home garden and is a Master Gardener for the University of Minnesota's Master Gardener Extension Program.