“Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20 KJV).
QUESTION: I’m dating a young lady who is very close to her father. I’m sure she tells him things about the two of us. He seems to like me and he involves me with family matters, but I don’t feel comfortable sharing with him about my relationship with his daughter. I respect him as her father, but how far should I go in allowing our private information to be shared?
ANSWER: You’re not obligated to tell the other parents what’s going on in your relationship, especially since they might use that information against you if they don’t like you. There are some parents who don’t like you but will act as though they do. I’m not saying that is the case in your situation, but it has happened. The ideal situation is for the parents to like you, but the most perfect situation is for you to be in the will of God!
Where her father is concerned, you need to respect him, but you don’t want to tell him too much about the dating relationship. Otherwise, he may still expect to hear what’s going on after you get married—and that is a whole different area altogether.
On the other hand, you must remember that her father is still her covering, and he still has say and input into her life until he gives her away in marriage to a husband.
QUESTION: I’m a single parent through divorce, and I’m dating someone who has also been divorced. We’re thinking about getting married eventually, but I still have doubts sometimes if the relationship will work. I’m not that naive to think we won’t have our share of problems, and I see some things that could be a potential problem later on. What should I do?
ANSWER: Slow down. Ask yourself the question, “Am I free to remarry scripturally?” Things that happen during dating tend to carry over into the marriage. That’s why second marriages shouldn’t be taken lightly. When people have been divorced, they really don’t need to get remarried until they know what caused their own divorce in the first place.
You both need to understand exactly what part you played individually to contribute to your marriage breaking up and what the Word says about it. Then you can think about getting remarried. Otherwise, you’ll only bring along the same baggage that you both had with your previous spouse.
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Pastor Deborah L. Butler is the first lady Word of Faith International Christian Centre located in Southfield, Michigan where she serves in ministry with her husband, Bishop Keith A. Butler.
Pastor Deborah is a licensed and ordained minister of the Gospel. Her encouraging, yet down-to-earth teaching imparts wisdom from the Word of God into all that hear her speak. One of Pastor Butler’s many duties is serving as the Director of the Women of Virtue Ministry. Pastor Deborah is often called to travel to other ministries to teach and admonish women to walk in the wisdom of God, and to experience peace in every area of their lives.