Here at Leadership Wired, we talk a lot about leadership and success in business. But as I’m sure you know, there is so much more to life than work. And with Father’s Day coming on June 19, I find myself thinking about the wonderful experiences I’ve had with my family – as a son, a father, and now a grandpa. There’s nothing I enjoy more than making memories with my grandkids.
Margaret and I just recently took our two oldest grandchildren, Maddie and Hannah, on a trip to celebrate their 13th birthdays. Our time together was wonderful, and we were very intentional about creating a memorable experience for the girls.
You can create positive memories with your loved ones, too. But they don’t usually happen by accident. Here are seven things you can do to make a memory that lasts a lifetime:
1. Initiative – Make Something Happen
As Lewis Carroll once said, “It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backward.” Life isn’t lived in reverse, yet many people focus more time and energy on the past than on the memories they can create today. Take initiative by doing fun activities, starting new traditions, and scheduling time together. Don’t let time just pass without making the most of it.
2. Time – Set Aside Time to Make It Happen
If we aren’t careful, the humdrum routine of life crowds out joyous moments with the ones we love. For most of my working life, I’ve made sure to put time with my loved ones on my calendar. We schedule our fun just as we schedule our work. Guard your calendar so that work never overruns your relationships with friends or family.
3. Planning – Plan For Something to Happen
Most people don’t lead their lives; they accept their lives. Consciously choose to live a life worthy of remembrance. Once you’ve scheduled your time together, plan it. You don’t need to overplan, but you do need to have an idea of what you’ll do and where you’ll go together.
4. Creativity – Find a Way to Make Something Happen
Sure, you could plan to sit indoors and watch a football game together. But where’s the fun in that? Be creative about what you do together. Last fall, we spent Thanksgiving week in New York City. This allowed us to visit the area where they inflate all the giant balloons for the Macy’s Parade, something that few people get to experience. Even though it was freezing outside, we made wonderful, warm memories with the family. Take your travels and fun times up a notch with creativity.
5. Shared Experiences – Make Something Happen Together
Memories are always better when you can share them with someone you love. Think of what your friends or family members would most enjoy, and spoil them by making it happen. Whether you build something, visit a favorite restaurant, or enjoy a concert, do it together to multiply the memories.
6. Mementos – Show That Something Happened
“Almost anything you do today will be forgotten in just a few weeks,” says John McCrone. “The ability to retrieve a memory decreases exponentially unless boosted by artificial aids such as diaries and photographs.” Take pictures, write in a journal, and buy souvenirs so that you have keepsakes to keep the memory alive. These physical reminders evoke the emotions of pleasant times spent with friends and family.
7. Relive the Memory – Talk About What Happened
In conversations, revisit your memories. Share stories and recall the humor in past events. Talking about your memories brings them to life and allows you to reconnect with the magical moments, as well as the not-so-magical ones. In our family, we’ve always asked the kids – and now the grandkids – after any experience together, “What’s one thing you loved?” and “What’s one thing you learned?” These questions have led to some great conversations that enriched the memories even more.
Have you ever considered the value that shared memories bring to relationships? Memories are meaningful because they are the exclusive territory of those who took part in creating them. There’s a sense of intimacy that comes from a shared experience, since only those involved have access to the memory of it.
Don’t miss the opportunity to make significant memories with those you love. Jobs and experiences come and go, but shared memories last a lifetime. They keep us connected in a special way. Take advantage of that blessing every day.
John Maxwell grew up in the 1950s in the small Midwestern city of Circleville, Ohio. John's earliest childhood memory is of knowing that he would someday be a pastor. He professed faith in Christ at the age of three, and reaffirmed that commitment when he was 13. At age 17, John began preparing for the ministry. He attended Circleville Bible College, earning his bachelor's degree in 1969. In June of that same year, he married his sweetheart, Margaret, and moved to tiny Hillham, Indiana, where he began his first pastorate.
While serving in his second church, Maxwell began to study the correlation between leadership effectiveness and ministry effectiveness. On July 4, 1976, while preaching at a service commemorating America's bicentennial, John sensed that God was calling him into a ministry to pastors. Within days after that event, pastors began to contact him, asking for his assistance in nurturing their churches. Over the next four years, on an informal basis, John helped scores of fellow pastors. Then, in 1980, he was asked to become Executive Director of Evangelism for the Wesleyan denomination.
Though his time at Wesleyan headquarters was productive, John soon realized that his deeper desire was to help pastors from numerous denominations. He knew that desire would be unfulfilled if he were to stay at denominational headquarters. As a result, in 1981 John accepted the call to return to the pastorate, this time at Skyline Wesleyan Church in the San Diego, California area. But he did so with the church's blessing to pursue his vision. The Skyline congregation allowed him to continue mentoring and assisting pastors even as he led them to new levels.
In 1985, as he continued to equip and encourage other pastors, John took the next crucial step in leadership development. He founded a new company called INJOY and created the INJOY Life Club, featuring a monthly tape for leaders. The fledging operation, established in the corner of a garage, was soon bursting at the seams. The INJOY Life Club tapes were received with great enthusiasm, and the number of subscriptions quickly increased from hundreds to thousands. Simultaneously, the demand for other resources and seminars exploded. Pastors from coast to coast were responding, and their desire for help was even greater than John had anticipated.
As the years passed, INJOY began demanding more and more of John's time. In 1995, he resigned from his position as senior pastor at Skyline following a very fruitful 14-year tenure. The church had tripled in size and its lay ministry involvement had increased ten-fold. Dr. Maxwell is in great demand today as a speaker. Through his bestselling books, audio and video resources, and major conferences, he communicates directly with more than one million people every year. He is frequently asked to speak for organizations such as Promise Keepers and Focus on the Family, but his greatest joy and desire is to help pastors become better leaders.
Because the need for leadership development knows no borders, John established EQUIP, a non-profit organization which trains leaders in urban communities, academic institutions, and within international organizations. EQUIP is also spearheading a movement which has enlisted more than one million pastoral prayer partners who covenant to pray specifically for those who shepherd God's flock.
John continues to seek new opportunities to help churches and church leaders. He knows that one thing is constant: the only hope for the world is salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ, who gives life abundantly.