A five-year old slugger smacks the baseball out into the field and sprints toward third base.
A tiny midfielder, playing her first soccer match, reaches down and scoops into her arms the ball rolling through the green grass toward her.
A small child on the basketball court receives a pass from a teammate and excitedly races to the hoop…without remembering to dribble.
If you’ve ever coached a children’s sports team, then you know the importance of explaining the simple rules of the game. Initially, chaos and confusion reign supreme as children accustomed themselves to unfamiliar regulations. Yet over time, the once-confusing rules become second nature, and the kids play together without even having to think about them.
Rules To Live By
Playing a sport without knowing the rules leads to chaos, confusion, and even can result in injury. Likewise, going through life without a reliable set of rules gives rise to disorder, dissatisfaction, and even harm. In this lesson, I’d like to share six simple rules that have helped me to navigate life. I hope they provide you with food for thought as you consider, or reevaluate, the rules you live by.
RULE #1: Put family first.
Lots of leaders give lip service to putting family first, but they don’t actually practice giving their spouse or kids top priority. What does it mean to put family first? For me, it involves redefining success. I do not measure my success in terms of career accomplishments. For me, success is when those closest to me love and respect me the most. Practically speaking, I make sure to schedule time with loved ones before setting my work calendar. It’s far more important for me to give prime time to my family than to “get ahead” by working overtime.
RULE #2: Follow the Golden Rule.
As followers, we universally ask three questions about our leaders: 1) Do they care for me? 2) Can they help me? 3) Can I trust them?
As a leader, regularly pose those same questions to yourself—Am I caring? Am I helping? Am I reliable?—as a reminder to treat others the way you would like to treated.
RULE #3 Take care of yourself.
Doing something for yourself is not a selfish act; it’s a sustaining act. In a university commencement address several years ago, Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises, spoke of the relation of work to one’s other responsibilities:
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them—work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls—family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.
I’ve learned the importance of this rule the hard way—through the trauma of a heart attack. If you’re not carving out time to rest and replenish, to exercise, and to monitor your spiritual wellbeing, then eventually you’ll breakdown. When that happens you’re no good to anyone.
RULE #4 Choose a positive attitude.
Happiness cannot be won, bought, or brought to you by another person. Rather, it results from a conscious choice to be grateful for our blessings and to make the best of life’s letdowns. Whatever happens to us, we always have control of one thing: our attitude.
RULE #5 Have a personal growth plan.
The key to personal growth is to have a beginner’s mindset. Beginners admit they don’t know everything and proceed accordingly. As a general rule, they’re open and humble, noticeably lacking in the rigidity that often accompanies experience and achievement.
RULE #6 Give more than you receive.
Everyone must ask for help at some point along the journey of life, but each person also has an inborn need to serve others. When I stopped trying to extract value from the people around me, and instead began searching for ways to add value, my influence soared.
John Maxwell grew up in the 1950s in the small Midwestern city of Circleville, Ohio. John's earliest childhood memory is of knowing that he would someday be a pastor. He professed faith in Christ at the age of three, and reaffirmed that commitment when he was 13. At age 17, John began preparing for the ministry. He attended Circleville Bible College, earning his bachelor's degree in 1969. In June of that same year, he married his sweetheart, Margaret, and moved to tiny Hillham, Indiana, where he began his first pastorate.
While serving in his second church, Maxwell began to study the correlation between leadership effectiveness and ministry effectiveness. On July 4, 1976, while preaching at a service commemorating America's bicentennial, John sensed that God was calling him into a ministry to pastors. Within days after that event, pastors began to contact him, asking for his assistance in nurturing their churches. Over the next four years, on an informal basis, John helped scores of fellow pastors. Then, in 1980, he was asked to become Executive Director of Evangelism for the Wesleyan denomination.
Though his time at Wesleyan headquarters was productive, John soon realized that his deeper desire was to help pastors from numerous denominations. He knew that desire would be unfulfilled if he were to stay at denominational headquarters. As a result, in 1981 John accepted the call to return to the pastorate, this time at Skyline Wesleyan Church in the San Diego, California area. But he did so with the church's blessing to pursue his vision. The Skyline congregation allowed him to continue mentoring and assisting pastors even as he led them to new levels.
In 1985, as he continued to equip and encourage other pastors, John took the next crucial step in leadership development. He founded a new company called INJOY and created the INJOY Life Club, featuring a monthly tape for leaders. The fledging operation, established in the corner of a garage, was soon bursting at the seams. The INJOY Life Club tapes were received with great enthusiasm, and the number of subscriptions quickly increased from hundreds to thousands. Simultaneously, the demand for other resources and seminars exploded. Pastors from coast to coast were responding, and their desire for help was even greater than John had anticipated.
As the years passed, INJOY began demanding more and more of John's time. In 1995, he resigned from his position as senior pastor at Skyline following a very fruitful 14-year tenure. The church had tripled in size and its lay ministry involvement had increased ten-fold. Dr. Maxwell is in great demand today as a speaker. Through his bestselling books, audio and video resources, and major conferences, he communicates directly with more than one million people every year. He is frequently asked to speak for organizations such as Promise Keepers and Focus on the Family, but his greatest joy and desire is to help pastors become better leaders.
Because the need for leadership development knows no borders, John established EQUIP, a non-profit organization which trains leaders in urban communities, academic institutions, and within international organizations. EQUIP is also spearheading a movement which has enlisted more than one million pastoral prayer partners who covenant to pray specifically for those who shepherd God's flock.
John continues to seek new opportunities to help churches and church leaders. He knows that one thing is constant: the only hope for the world is salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ, who gives life abundantly.