The Heart of the Matter Is Love
One of our deepest, most motivating drives as humans is to be loved. We want to be accepted.
Our need for acceptance goes all the way back to creation when a God of love created us to be in right relationship with Him and with each other. It’s no surprise, then, that rejection can be one of our most painful experiences.
Now some of us, especially men, may be too tough or independent to admit this need. After all, it weakens our macho image. Yet even that is a defensive reaction to a deeper fear of rejection. By having a macho image, we hold back from relationships simply to avoid being rejected.
In understanding our need for acceptance, it also helps to face the fact that the world we live in is geared for just the opposite—rejection! Oh, the world does offer acceptance, but unlike God’s, its acceptance is based on performance.
That means if we don’t meet society’s standards, we’re confronted with our failure and the possibility of rejection. What’s so sad is, being the imperfect humans that we are, we’re going to fail from time to time. And when we do, we get demoted, fired, kicked out, divorced, imprisoned…rejected. That’s the world’s way.
To make this vicious system even worse, rejection was the only thing many of us heard growing up, even before we were old enough to understand what our parents were saying. “You dummy, look at what you did!” Or, “You can’t do this…You can’t do that!”
Rejection, Rejection, Rejection
The result? Defense, defense, defense. By the time most people are adults, all they know is defense. Even when no one’s really attacking them, they get defensive. So our tendency to get defensive is no great mystery, is it?
We’re simply beings living in a world of rejection who need acceptance. This tendency is a danger we must avoid if we’re going to have good communication and good relationships.
by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers
Mac and Lynne Hammond are senior pastors of Living Word in Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, which they started in 1980. Many outreaches and ministries have launched from Living Word since that time, including Maranatha Christian Academy, a Pre-K through grade 12 school with nearly 900 in attendance, and Living Free Recovery Services, a licensed outpatient treatment program.
Most recently, Mac and Lynne have launched a vision to plant fifty churches across the globe in the next five years. As of August 2024, nine churches have been planted in the Dominican Republic, Ireland, Venezuela, Bolivia, Colombia, and Guatemala with construction underway for seven more churches in El Salvador, Ethiopia, and the Democratic Republic of Congo.
Prior to becoming a pastor, Mac was a pilot. He served in the Air Force, served two tours of duty in Southeast Asia, and was honorably discharged in 1970 with the rank of Captain. Between 1970 and 1980, Mac was involved in varying capacities in the general aviation industry, including ownership of a successful air cargo business serving the Midwestern United States. A business acquisition brought the Hammonds to Minneapolis, where they ultimately founded Living Word. Currently, Mac is the host of The Winner’s Way and The Winner’s Minute broadcasts and the author of several internationally distributed books. Mac is broadly acclaimed for his ability to apply the principles of the Bible to practical situations and the challenges of daily living.