Since our calling is ministry and it is not a regular 8:00 to 5:00 job, our time must be flexible with our calling. There are times when we’ll be called upon unexpectedly or there will be special services that may go for several nights. Whatever is the case, be flexible and sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading.

You, as the wife, do not have to go to every meeting within the church, but be sensitive in your spirit to know those you should go to and those which aren’t necessary. Pray about when to go and when not to go, and then discuss this with your husband.

There are times when my husband and I feel I need to stay home with the children rather than go to a meeting. We can usually tell when the children are tired and need to stay home with Mommy.

Phone calls will come at your house. With all phone calls, always ask immediately who it is and what they need. Sometimes they think the pastor is the only one they can talk to, but many times you or others can handle the matter just as well.

Some of the people can be redirected to staff in the church. Courteously handle and redirect as many of the calls as you can without involving your husband. He needs to feel that when he comes home he can relax with his family.

God may direct you to organize and train some people in your church to do phone counseling. This way, when you receive so many calls, you can redirect some of the calls to others who are on call to help.

I have a mercy motive gift and tend to let people talk a lot as I counsel them. There have been times when my husband would come in for supper, the meal would be ready, but he would find me counseling on the phone.

I had to learn how to get people to identify their need, then pray and agree on the Word of God with them and politely excuse myself, letting them know we could talk again at church.

Some people will monopolize your time. I have had to learn how to handle them lovingly, yet firmly, with the help of the Holy Spirit.

We’ve found voicemail to be a great help to us…when we’re away from the house, when we’re outside, or when we’re eating a meal. This way, we don’t miss any phone calls, and we still can have a few minutes of family time together.

Voicemail has become very common, and most people understand when you need to use it. There will always be some people who don’t like to get voicemail, but these same people rarely understand your need for privacy either.

If an emergency arises, you’ll have the message in voicemail. Without it, you might not hear of the emergency until too late. Pray about using voicemail to help you.

You may be wondering, “What about time for myself?” This is needed but should remain under submission to God and the other areas of need you have. In our society today, selfishness is so rampant.

Time for self should be sandwiched in, in a flexible way where the other areas are not taken from because of it, but added to.

For instance, other than my time alone with God I find time to jog one to two miles, four days a week, in the mornings for about 15 to 20 minutes and I pray scriptures while doing it. This keeps my heart and body healthy, but doesn’t take from the other areas or my time from others.

Sharon Daugherty

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Sharon Daugherty is the Founding Pastor of Victory in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which she, along with her late husband, Pastor Billy Joe Daugherty, established in 1981. Together the Daughertys established Victory Christian School, Victory Bible College, Victory World Missions Training Center, and the Tulsa Dream Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which provides food, clothing, medical, educational, and recreational services to the community.

Sharon transitioned the position of Lead Pastor to her son, Paul Daugherty, in 2014. Through the years Sharon has been a worship pastor, songwriter, and continues to teach at Victory Bible College. She and her son have hosted Victory in Jesus, a daily broadcast transmitted via satellite to more than 200 nations. She is the author of several books including "Known by Your Fruit", "Avoiding Deception", and "What Guys See that Girls Don't or Do They?"

Sharon is a graduate of Oral Roberts University with a Bachelor of Music Education Degree. She also attended Christ For the Nations Bible Institute in Dallas, Texas. She serves on the Board of Victory, the Tulsa Dream Center, Oral Roberts University Theology Department, and is the Oklahoma State Director for Christians United for Israel. Sharon is the mother of four children and eight grandchildren. All four of Sharon's children serve in ministry in various locations in the United States.