That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are now one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife!
(Eph. 5:28-29)
Men have a God-given inward desire and craving for greatness, significance, even to become a hero.
In saying that, that is not to leave out any similar feelings a woman may feel. Every human being has the desire for their life to having meaning and significance. Simply speaking from a man’s point of view, I know that men have an inner desire for greatness in their lives.
When people that you haven’t seen for some time ask the golden question, “What’s new?” it’s natural to desire to have something meaningful to say.
The majority of all men’s lives are not patterned in such a way as to lead them into the kinds of actions that people would call great. Few of us have jobs or lifestyles that put us on the front lines that lead us to actions of heroism.
Let me call heroes or great people, those that help those who can’t help themselves. If you think of that definition, it doesn’t take anything away from the words hero or greatness. It just makes them more practical and accessible and allows us to satisfy the desire for greatness or heroism within us. We can all help others that can’t help themselves.
Let me bring this down to our daily lives. I’ll say this to men even though I know these words will speak to all.
Men, most of you before you married your wife, chased after her, spent more money than you ever imagined on her, talked twice your normal word bank in winning her heart, were creative in finding activities to do with her, professed mushy love words to her, and lavished her with romance and gifts and finally came to the conclusion that you wanted to unite with her in marriage.
Even if you were horrible at all this, you did it more before you were married than you probably do now.
At the time your bride-to-be didn’t know that this pursuit might be a temporary arrangement. She was naive enough to think that this type of pursuit would be ongoing. She also probably thought it was GREAT! After all, she gave herself over to you in marriage.
Again, I am not trying to minimize the word “hero” but the word is already used loosely. We are so in need of heroes today that the term is given to people that did nothing to earn the title.
What a man does internally for a woman when he pursues and loves her is something she cannot do for herself. He becomes her personal hero. When a man loves a woman with a maturing but continuing intensity, she experiences an inward need met that she cannot satisfy herself.
This man is doing a great thing. By our definition of doing something for someone that they cannot do for themselves, he is acting in greatness or as a hero.
This is heroism and greatness at the most basic level. Is it needed and necessary? Look at the state of marriages in this country and around you. What do you think? Does the word crisis come to mind?
This is why the Apostle Paul by the inspiration of God wrote in Ephesians:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
(Eph. 5:25)
Jesus’ love for the people was not a singular or temporary event. It was ongoing and is still ongoing. He still courts you and I today with His letter of love and promise (the Bible) and as a hero husband. He’ll fulfill every promise He makes to us.
As husbands He wants us to let acts of greatness and heroism start where it will benefit all the most. By laying down our own selfish interests for a higher purpose – His purposes, starting with loving our wives. That is why the Lord goes on to say:
That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as though they were loving themselves. For since a man and his wife are now one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife! No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body the Church, of which we are parts.
(Eph. 5:28-29)
By loving our wives the way God tells us to, we will actually be satisfying a desire for greatness and developing godly character for greater greatness. We’ll become the heroes of our home and I promise you that a true hero at home becomes a hero in other places.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Timothy Burt is a pastor, author, and writer. He is best known as the author of Fresh Manna, a daily devotional and online Bible study.
Pastor Tim became a part of the leadership team at Living Word Christian Center in 1984 and was an Associate Pastor from 1989 until May 31st, 2017. He and His wife Renee, also a Pastor at Living Word, resigned after being a part of Living Word for 33 years on May 31, 2017. They felt impressed by God to pursue the tremendous growth of their ministry "Fresh Manna," as well as teaching conferences and seminars and increasing their involvement in the mission field through Tim and Renee Burt Ministries. Tim has a Bachelor of Theology degree and is a Christian blogger who has been writing a daily inspirational and teaching devotion three days a week called "Fresh Manna" for the past 22 years. It has been read in over 227 countries (official countries and territories). Tim was named one of the top 55 blogging Pastors. He is one of the top Social Media influencers in Minnesota with a strong presence on Twitter at https://twitter.com/TimBurt with over 187,000 followers. Between Tim's Fresh Manna Devotional and Twitter influence, he virally averages reaching over 4 million people daily with the gospel of Jesus Christ and the love of God.
Prior to working at LWCC, he worked at Northwest Airlines for 13 years. In 1985 he founded and was President of American Infant Care Products which marketed his patented invention, the first fold-down commercial infant changing table now used worldwide in public restrooms.
In their tenure at Living Word, Timothy Burt and his wife Renee created a Small Group Ministry when the church was about 800 people in size. Under the leadership of Sr. Pastors Mac and Lynne Hammond, the church grew to over 10,000 people. Pastor Tim and Renee led a diverse Small Group Ministry of over 200 groups. Tim also led weekly men's groups and a monthly Men's Breakfast of 250 plus men called Manhood for 27 years. Tim's responsibilities also included oversight over the Visitor and Member Relations Department, Leadership and Volunteer Development, and the Pastoral Care Department. Pastor Tim was also the Minnesota State Director of Christians United for Israel from 2006 thru 2017.
Tim and Renee are the parents of four children and have seven grandchildren. Tim loves to write, golf, run, and walk, and is a master gardener. He is a five-time marathon finisher. He is also a three-time award-winning gardener winning the Grand Prize in his city for his beautiful home garden and is a Master Gardener for the University of Minnesota's Master Gardener Extension Program.