The first thing I want to say to anyone who has suffered abuse is that you are not alone! No matter what type of abuse you have been through – verbal, mental, physical or sexual – there are others who have been through it too or who are going through it now.
Abuse does not happen to just certain types of people in certain types of situations in life. It happens to many, many people. Abuse is not just a problem among non-Christians, it’s a problem of the Church also. In fact, abuse can happen in religious families.
Why am I telling you this? Because you need to know that you are not alone so you won’t feel guilty. You must not feel that this is a big problem that you caused. Many people are innocent victims, as you are. You must realize this fact before you can rid yourself of the emotional scar the abuse has left in your life.
You may be thinking, “Oh, but Cheryl, you don’t know what I have done; I deserved the abuse I received.” Before you can go any further in your healing from abuse, you must realize that this is a lie from the devil.
It is never right for you or anyone else to be abused. Even if you did something or said something that you feel brought on the abuse, you still did not deserve to be abused.
You were a victim. Abuse is an action against you…a violation against you. You must recognize it for what it is – abuse is destruction. It tears down. And the only way it can be counteracted is through victorious living in Jesus…and that takes practice. But you must practice the right kind of victorious living!
Unfortunately, too many people practice and rehearse negative thoughts. Those thoughts come out of their mouth, go into their ears, then filter down into their heart, and the whole cycle starts over. The Word of God says that whatever is in your heart is what is going to come out of your mouth (Matt. 12:34-35).
The Bible also says that faith comes from hearing the Word (Rom. 10:17). Well, if faith can come from hearing the positive, then the opposite of faith (fear, depression, disappointment and discouragement) can come from hearing the negative.
In other words, instead of hearing God’s Word, you can listen to Satan’s word – the negative. You may not think you are listening to his words, but if you are thinking negative thoughts, feeling guilty and worthless, those are the devil’s thoughts – not God’s.
God never condemns anyone, nor does He cause His creation, made in His likeness (Gen. 1:26), to feel unworthy. He gave His only Son, Jesus Christ, so that we ALL can believe Him and become sons and daughters and joint heirs with Him (Rom. 8:17). You are somebody – you are worthy. You are a child of God.
I simply want to give you the right steps to practice to get completely free of abuse and totally healed of its scar.
I could discuss many wonderful stories of how people have come through abuse, conquered it and been healed of it. A story is a wonderful thing, but when your life is in danger, when your very spirit and your very soul and your very physical body are in jeopardy, a nice story is not what you need.
You must learn how to fight. You have to learn how to stand firm and strong against the devil. You have to learn who your enemy is and that you fight in the spiritual realm, not the physical. You don’t fight with flesh words, you fight with spirit words.
It’s great when you know you can stand strong against the devil (and make him shiver in his boots) by speaking the Word of God, the truth, out loud. It’s not enough to just read it to yourself. You must speak it out loud as well. What do you say when you look in the mirror? What do you say when you are alone? What do you say when everything is going wrong?
We need to learn to listen to ourselves and quit saying bad things but instead say good things. We must speak out the Word of God. We must say good things out loud. Remember: Don’t tell God about your Big Problem; tell your problem about your Big God!
As harsh as it may sound, I believe that if you really want to get healed, you’ll get serious about this issue of speaking forth the Word of God. If you don’t want to do that, you’ll stay sick. That’s the bottom line.
No matter what the symptoms in your life may be, until you are healed of the emotional scar that was caused by abuse, you cannot be healed permanently.
There are many “symptoms” of abuse (but, of course, not all the people who have these symptoms have been abused). The ones I’m going to discuss just happen to be some of the more evident symptoms of abuse.
Abuse victims often have a tendency to suffer from eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia or obesity. Subconsciously they are saying to those who have abused them: “You may have abused my body, you may have abused me sexually, you may have abused me verbally, but you cannot control what I eat; so I will either eat myself into oblivion or starve myself to death.”
Their eating disorder is simply a reaction, a subconscious attempt to control something in their lives, even if it is just their weight or eating habits.
If you have any of these eating disorders, or any other symptoms of abnormal behavior, you must recognize that they can be caused by spirits that have gotten into your life because of the scars of the abuse you have suffered. The devil wants to use these disorders to cause you to have a suicidal spirit.
You may not be killing yourself by putting a gun to your head, but you’re committing suicide slowly by either overeating or starving yourself to death. These and many other symptoms of less destructive behavior all come from the emotional scars of abuse.
It takes practice of God’s Word to be healed and to keep your healing. As I mentioned earlier, I want to give you those things to practice, alone with scriptures to read out loud.
I’ve kept the list I will share with you as short as possible for one very important reason – I want you to be able to pick it up and read it quickly, then pick it up again the next day and reread it. Then perhaps read it once a week. As you do so, you will begin to recognize that you are getting healed more and more.
Yes, your healing is possible. But once you receive it, you must continually be aware that Satan will try to steal it. In the second part of this teaching, I will share with you ten steps, along with specific scriptures, so you can stand against the devil and be free of any bondage he tries to place on you. Stay tuned.
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Harry and Cheryl Salem are ministers of the gospel. They are parents to sons, Harry III and Roman. Roman has married a beautiful young lady, Stephanie, and she has become their daughter-in-love. Healing and restoration have come full circle for the Salem family with the miracle birth of Roman and Stephanie’s baby girl, Mia Gabrielle. She is named for their daughter, Gabrielle Christian, who is in heaven since 1999. Their latest joy will be arriving in March 2017 with Roman and Stephanie’s second miracle baby of restoration for the Salem Family!
The Salems have seen the altars flooded with people receiving salvation, with countless re-dedications, with miraculous healings and with bodies, lives, marriages and souls being restored because of His mighty anointing!
Cheryl was crowned Miss America 1980, but tremendous adversities nearly ended that dream before it began. As a young girl, she survived a horrific car crash that cracked her back and crushed her left leg, resulting in a physical handicap and over 100 stitches in her face.
Eleven years old, poor, crippled and scarred… but a miracle, too! This was the outlook Cheryl chose, as she had been told that she might not ever walk again. But walk, she did! And she walked the runway in Atlantic City, against all odds, all because of Jesus.
Harry’s father passed away when Harry was 10 years old, leaving him with a mandate to be the man of the house, to never cry, and to take care of his mother and sisters. This challenge caused Harry to excel, but to also grow up with a cautious outlook on life.
He quickly made a name for himself in the corporate world, becoming a major executive before the age of 30, but he knew that there was more. He and Cheryl met, married and started their family, but it wasn’t until the mid-nineties that Harry had an encounter with God that changed him forever. He let go of the pain of growing up without his father and the stress of the mantle that had been placed on his shoulders at such a young age. He began to trust God – and he has never looked back.
Cheryl has recorded numerous music CDs, the latest being I Am A Worshiper. The most popular worship music she has released over the past few years are the four prophetic CDs of healing and restoration. Her prophetic flowing style on both the keyboard and vocally of the Book of Revelation and the Book of Proverbs are fast becoming the most requested music CDs! She and Harry have co-written 36 books with topics ranging from Mourning to Morning to Entering Rest – Be Still. Their book, We Who Worship, is designed to bring the reader into a deeper level of purity and intimacy with God in worship. Their marriage books Two Becoming One and Don’t Kill Each Other! Let God Do It! are great books for couples to read and are also used for couples Bible studies together.
Salem Family Ministries presents We Who Worship Gathering annually, a worship event, which includes worship, dance, art, musical theater and drama. They are walking out the Lord’s plan set before them for School of Worship, intensive training sessions, where the Salems teach, impart, and personally work with students to help them grow to the next level in their worship life and ministry.
Both Harry and Cheryl are sought-after ministers, who speak in churches and events across the nation. Harry has a heart for men, preaching and teaching on overcoming issues in life. Cheryl is a popular preacher at ladies events, encouraging women to reach their godly potential, but the focus of Salem Family Ministries is to take this unique, tag-team style of ministry into churches, two by two, to reach families for God, one by one.