The cycle of abuse can be broken. Too many people have suffered abuse in one form or another, never realizing that healing is possible. But healing and restoration is always possible through God.
In this third and final part of this series on Breaking Abuse, I wish to provide you with the remaining five steps that will help you on your road to recovery and wholeness.
STEP 1: PRAISE YOURSELF (Say: “I am somebody special to God”).
“For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only-begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish – come to destruction, be lost – but have eternal (ever lasting) life.” (John 3:16)
Say: “God loves me and believes in me.”
“The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her safely, so that he has no lack of honest gain or need of dishonest spoil.” (Prov. 31:11)
Say: “I am a ‘Proverbs 31’ woman. Each day, I am becoming more of what I was created to be. I am precious and valuable.”
“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works: and that my soul knoweth right well.” (Ps. 139:14 KJV)
Say: “I am ‘wonderfully and fearfully made.”
“But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]. This is the righteousness of the vindication which they obtain from Me – this is that which I impart to them as their justification – says the Lord.” (Isa. 54:17)
Say: “I am born to win – to overcome! No weapon formed against me shall prosper.”
“And all your [spiritual] children shall be disciples – taught of the Lord [and obedient to His will]; and great shall be the peace and undisturbed composure of your children.” (Isa. 54:13)
Say: “I shall be taught of the Lord, and great shall be my peace and undisturbed composure.”
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity – of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear – but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” (2 Tim. 1:7)
Say: “God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power, love, and sound mind.”
“For our sake He made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him we might become [endued with, viewed as in and examples of] the righteousness of God – what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right relationship with Him, by His goodness.” (2 Cor. 5:21)
Say: “I am the righteousness of God.”
“But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom, and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right], and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.” (Matt. 6:33)
Say: “I now seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto me.”
“Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.” (Phil. 4:11)
Say: “I have learned that whatever state I am in therewith to be content.”
STEP 7: LIFT YOURSELF (Be happy with yourself).
You need to state that you are happy each day. You have to choose to be happy. You have to choose to pray, and choose to be thankful. Make sure you let the Holy Spirit have full reign over your life.
Scriptures to Confess:
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.”
(Ps. 37:4)
“Then shall you delight yourself in the Lord, and I will make you to ride on the high places of the earth, and I will feed you with the heritage [promise for you to] Jacob your father; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.”
(Isa. 58:14)
“Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you; rise to a new life]! Shine – be radiant with the glory of the Lord; for your light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you!”
(Isa. 60:1)
“The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch upon the evil and the good.”
(Prov. 15:3)
“A gentle tongue [with its healing power] is a tree of life, but willful contrariness in it breaks down the spirit.”
(Prov. 15:4)
“A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries the bones.”
(Prov. 17:22)
“Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad hearted continually – always.”
(1 Thess. 5:16-19)
Thank [God] in everything – no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks; for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].
Do not quench (suppress and subdue) the (Holy) Spirit.
STEP 8: HELP YOURSELF (Be truthful with yourself).
One way you can help yourself is to listen to yourself. Make sure you are speaking positive words over yourself. Stand in front of the mirror and say good things about yourself.
Write down ten positive things about yourself and say them out loud.
Ten Positive Confessions:
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4. ______________________________
5. ______________________________
6. ______________________________
7. ______________________________
8. ______________________________
9. ______________________________
10. _____________________________
STEP 9: TRUST YOURSELF (Know you are trustworthy).
Proverbs 31:11 says that you are trustworthy, so trust yourself to make the right decisions. Learn to pray and listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and His leadings. Listen to the voice of the Father. Listen to Jesus.
All three Persons of the Trinity will lead you and guide you if you will just learn (by practicing) to listen to them. They give good and accurate advice.
STEP 10: LOVE YOURSELF (Know that you are so valuable that no price can be placed on you).
…You shall love your neighbor as yourself…(Lev. 19:18). God would never tell you to hate your neighbor, would He? That’s why He said to love your neighbor “as yourself,” because He wants you to love yourself – to know what a prize you are – to know how valuable you are.
A possession is prized and valued according to the price that was paid for it. The life of the only Son of God, Jesus, was paid for you. That makes you priceless – invaluable! You are so valuable that no price can be placed on you! You are worth more than you think! You are worth loving! You are priceless to God. And you need to love yourself in order to fulfill God’s Word!
You must learn to love yourself before anyone else can learn to love you. You bind up everyone else’s love by not freeing your own love to yourself.
Spend time with yourself.
Confess Leviticus 19:18 often: “You shall not take revenge or bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”
The Choices You Make
Well, now that you’ve been through each step, how do you feel? I pray you can feel the very presence of God inside you and that your shoulders are squared back and you are standing taller on the outside and on the inside.
Remember to make the choice to practice all ten steps. Choices affect your health and your emotions. Your entire life is dictated by the choices you make.
Now I want to leave you with this very sobering thought. The devil will tell you, “You don’t need to know this stuff,” because it is his desire to “cloak you with stupidity.”
Even though you would never choose to be stupid, the devil will try to put this cloak upon you. You have to choose to throw it off and get knowledge. God says, My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…(Hos. 4:6).
God has given us a contract with Him – the Bible. The devil cannot break the contract because it is legal through Jesus. The contract says: “This is your day. You can rise up.”
You are somebody to God, and He can do and wants to do great and wonderful things in you and through you as you take authority in the name of Jesus. Say: “This is my contract, and the devil can’t break it. In the name of Jesus, I am somebody!”
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Harry and Cheryl Salem are ministers of the gospel. They are parents to sons, Harry III and Roman. Roman has married a beautiful young lady, Stephanie, and she has become their daughter-in-love. Healing and restoration have come full circle for the Salem family with the miracle birth of Roman and Stephanie’s baby girl, Mia Gabrielle. She is named for their daughter, Gabrielle Christian, who is in heaven since 1999. Their latest joy will be arriving in March 2017 with Roman and Stephanie’s second miracle baby of restoration for the Salem Family!
The Salems have seen the altars flooded with people receiving salvation, with countless re-dedications, with miraculous healings and with bodies, lives, marriages and souls being restored because of His mighty anointing!
Cheryl was crowned Miss America 1980, but tremendous adversities nearly ended that dream before it began. As a young girl, she survived a horrific car crash that cracked her back and crushed her left leg, resulting in a physical handicap and over 100 stitches in her face.
Eleven years old, poor, crippled and scarred… but a miracle, too! This was the outlook Cheryl chose, as she had been told that she might not ever walk again. But walk, she did! And she walked the runway in Atlantic City, against all odds, all because of Jesus.
Harry’s father passed away when Harry was 10 years old, leaving him with a mandate to be the man of the house, to never cry, and to take care of his mother and sisters. This challenge caused Harry to excel, but to also grow up with a cautious outlook on life.
He quickly made a name for himself in the corporate world, becoming a major executive before the age of 30, but he knew that there was more. He and Cheryl met, married and started their family, but it wasn’t until the mid-nineties that Harry had an encounter with God that changed him forever. He let go of the pain of growing up without his father and the stress of the mantle that had been placed on his shoulders at such a young age. He began to trust God – and he has never looked back.
Cheryl has recorded numerous music CDs, the latest being I Am A Worshiper. The most popular worship music she has released over the past few years are the four prophetic CDs of healing and restoration. Her prophetic flowing style on both the keyboard and vocally of the Book of Revelation and the Book of Proverbs are fast becoming the most requested music CDs! She and Harry have co-written 36 books with topics ranging from Mourning to Morning to Entering Rest – Be Still. Their book, We Who Worship, is designed to bring the reader into a deeper level of purity and intimacy with God in worship. Their marriage books Two Becoming One and Don’t Kill Each Other! Let God Do It! are great books for couples to read and are also used for couples Bible studies together.
Salem Family Ministries presents We Who Worship Gathering annually, a worship event, which includes worship, dance, art, musical theater and drama. They are walking out the Lord’s plan set before them for School of Worship, intensive training sessions, where the Salems teach, impart, and personally work with students to help them grow to the next level in their worship life and ministry.
Both Harry and Cheryl are sought-after ministers, who speak in churches and events across the nation. Harry has a heart for men, preaching and teaching on overcoming issues in life. Cheryl is a popular preacher at ladies events, encouraging women to reach their godly potential, but the focus of Salem Family Ministries is to take this unique, tag-team style of ministry into churches, two by two, to reach families for God, one by one.