John 15:15 says, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”
Jesus is redefining His relationship with His disciples, moving them from servants to friends. He shared with them everything His Father shared with Him. He basically told them, “You’re not just acquaintances. You’re not just people who hang around Me. I have shared my heart with you. You know what goes on inside of Me. You know what makes Me tick. Things that My Father whispered to Me, I whispered to you. Now you’re qualified to be called My friends.”
Do you think you should be best friends with your kids? Is it possible to be that kind of friend with your own offspring? One teenager, Stephen L. from New Cumberland, Pennsylvania, says:
“My dad is my best friend. We do a lot of things together. He’s human and fun to be around. He can be strict. But he’s fair. And I respect him for that. I feel free to tell him my concerns. And I trust him.”
Meanwhile, his father, Richard L. says,
“We are good friends…There’s a line between being a friend and being a father. I have to use tough love and say no when I think something isn’t good for him. And the friendship should be strong enough to be able to say no.”
There comes a time in your relationship with your young person when you have to take it from “you’re just my son or daughter,” to a level of friendship. You begin to do that when you talk to them. Really share your heart. Don’t just tell them the rules and regulations and things they need to do.
Jesus told his disciples they were qualified to be friends because they knew His heart. If you want to develop a close relationship with your young person, they need to get to know you. A parent might say, “Yeah, well, they don’t need to know my business.” They don’t want to know your business. They want to know you.
Most young people feel lonely because they don’t know their own parents. They sleep under the same roof with strangers every night. The walls in your relationship have been up long enough. It’s time to break them down and get to know each other once again.
By admitting your failures, asking forgiveness, really listening, and sharing your heart when you talk, you’ll be amazed at how much restoration will happen in your relationship with your young person.
Ron Luce was the co-founder and president of Teen Mania Ministries from 1986-2015. Ron and his wife Katie dreamed to raise young people who would change the world.
Ron received his bachelor's degree in Psychology and Theology from Oral Roberts University and his master's in Counseling Psychology from the University of Tulsa, along with an honorary doctorate from Jerry Falwell of Liberty University. He is a sought-after speaker who has traveled to more than 60 countries and has made numerous media appearances, such as Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family radio broadcast, CNN, The O'Reilly Factor, ABC Nightline, The 700 Club, Trinity Broadcasting Network, and the Sean Hannity Show. Ron has also written 35 books for teens, youth pastors, and parents and continues to speak at leaders' conferences helping parents and pastors understand the plight of today's youth and showing them how all of us can be part of the solution.
Ron and Katie currently live in Garden Valley, Texas, with their son Cameron. They have two daughters, Hannah and Charity.