Most teens do not know how to have a real friendship with someone of the opposite sex. When we have a close friend we usually say, “I know him too well to date him.”
Studies show that one of the primary reasons that teens date is to fulfill their desire for companionship. They are looking for good friends who care about them. They are fooled into thinking that “the farther I go with this person, the better friends we will be.”
Just the opposite is true. After a few dates, kissing substitutes for real communication. Before long, more sexual involvement follows with the hope that it will make you closer.
So, here is the all-too-common scenario on most weekends: you go on a date feeling lonely or that you really want to talk, but then you start fooling around; instead of finding the companionship you were seeking, you end up emptier than you began.
The very thing you want out of the relationship (a real friendship) is the very thing that physical involvement makes impossible! As you make a commitment and stay away from any immorality before marriage, you will have a much greater possibility of having a real friendship with the person you date.
The closeness you really want is impossible to find if you get involved sexually. Sex will enhance the closeness a couple has only after close friendship BEFORE they were married and they chose to wait and do it God’s way.
If you do not have a heart-to-heart friendship with a person, having sex with him or her will not give it to you. Getting physical at all before marriage will only destroy your relationship.
This seems illogical to the world, but it is the truth.
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Ron Luce was the co-founder and president of Teen Mania Ministries from 1986-2015. Ron and his wife Katie dreamed to raise young people who would change the world.
Ron received his bachelor's degree in Psychology and Theology from Oral Roberts University and his master's in Counseling Psychology from the University of Tulsa, along with an honorary doctorate from Jerry Falwell of Liberty University. He is a sought-after speaker who has traveled to more than 60 countries and has made numerous media appearances, such as Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family radio broadcast, CNN, The O'Reilly Factor, ABC Nightline, The 700 Club, Trinity Broadcasting Network, and the Sean Hannity Show. Ron has also written 35 books for teens, youth pastors, and parents and continues to speak at leaders' conferences helping parents and pastors understand the plight of today's youth and showing them how all of us can be part of the solution.
Ron and Katie currently live in Garden Valley, Texas, with their son Cameron. They have two daughters, Hannah and Charity.